Furry Writers' Guild Forum

Day Thirteen: Reflection

Processing day, and a big thank you to everyone who has participated so far!

Again, still surprised I was able to modify more based on the lesson. Then again, a writer’s work is never done, right?

There are a few spots that I believe are filters, but I don’t think I could change them if I wanted to. Any thoughts or comments are welcome.

Air in the West - First Five Pages - Day 13.docx (27.8 KB)

I think you’ve really shone it up, though it was strong to begin with. :slight_smile:
A fun genre, a good solid hook, and I’m interested in what happens next.

One thing I might do in a few places that wasn’t really part of the class is to take out a few speech tags if there’s also an action right with them that tells us who just spoke. So when it says: The armadillo said. He waved a scaly hand… You could just have: The armadillo waved a scaly hand. At that point you don’t need the ‘he said’ at all because the action can replace the tag. He said is pretty invisible usually and better than a lot of fancy speech tags, but it’s even tighter when there’s an action right there, to just skip the tag entirely.

But it reads really well as it is. :slight_smile:

Just read this for the first time, TJ, and wow, I really liked it. Looking forward to the finished product!