Furry Writers' Guild Forum

Unbalanced Scales for Fragments

This is waaaaaaay too long. Does anyone want to offer their axe surgical skills?

Frosty Pine felt something warm and wet between this toes. He look down and was appalled to see the crazy Fox girl Bling-Bling brought to the after-party. She was nice enough, if you weren’t picky about Warm stoner girls. No open sores and still got her own teeth. Man, but what a thing to wake up to!

She caught him looking at her, and totally misreading his pose, she began to suckle the gray-white padding of his large claw-like feet. As a Mammal, she made the common mistake of concentrating on his face… not taking into account head motions, hand gestures, color changes, and other little tics a Rept used to express his emotions consciously and unconsciously. She could not see his disgust.

“Bling-Bling!” He bellowed, remembering that the background singer brought the Fox to the after-party. Then, switching to the street version of the Xeno-Voice, “Get this sloppy tongue bitch off me, you hear?”

Her ginger tufted ears zeroed in on him, and she looked up a little amused and a little confused. Frosty pulled his pillow over his head just as the lavender headed Anole swooped into the bedroom. His dewlap blossomed into an amused grin as he plucked the naked Fox off Frosty. She gave a token protest, used to be manhandled to a certain extent, and Bling-Bling laughed, “You leave Dr. Ice alone, you hear now?”

Now the protesting began in earnest. Frosty had repeatedly explained over and over to the girl (was her name Ginger something?), that he wasn’t Dr. Ice… he was just a fancy roadie, a high paid stage guy that just happened to also be a thin Bearded Dragon. He cursed Bling-Bling for teasing the girl and he cursed the girl for getting the morning off to a bad start. His right foot shot up in the air trying to kick the drying saliva free.

Disgusted and unsuccessful, Frosty slowly climbed out of bed. He gratefully checked the sheets for damage. None, unless you counted the Fox hairs all over the bed. Good thing they only snuggled, he thought with a full body grimace. Shedding every hour or every day, how the hell did Mammals get to be arbitrators of what’s good and what’s bad?

No, he stopped himself, he was beginning to sound like his brother, Kudzu. Frosty staggered towards the showers. It was noon. He would have to have gotten up in the next hour or two, anyway.

In the bathroom, he locked the door, Not for any modesty; he’d hadn’t even bothered to wrap the sheet around him. Once, one of the groupies had tried to steal one of his Tzitzis for a souvenir. While he couldn’t consider himself a fully practicing Chromatic any longer, it would be devastating to lose any of his little badges. Using only his right hand, he unclipped his birth Tzitzis, a little two inch bit of green braided strings with a black triangle symbol in the middle, for one of “beard” scales on his neck. He laid it on a hand towel on a sink as he recalled the name image of his mother. A misty forest, cool but welcoming. He felt her love as if she were in the room now. His father’s name image came to him as a static charcoal drawing of a spartan evergreen. A lone pine empty of depth. A hermit’s dwarf tree. His father would be surprised to see himself portrayed so, but his father never shared himself with Frosty.

It was his own damn fault.

The other Tzitzis came off in the proper order, Frosty extending thoughts and images as he did so. He thanked God for his life and thanked Mosaic for giving them all a path. Paths, actually, but Mosaic had codified many observations and granted a uniformity across the many different Breeds and Species of Sentience. The Anthro and the Xeno, the Warm and the Cold, the educated and the uneducated, the rich and the poor. These observations cut across all these lines, so that in everything one did, one could glorify god or at least testify to his greatness.

Except, perhaps, with Rap.

Frosty checked himself. By taking off his badges (including the six stupid gold ones Kudzu insisted that he wear and really meant nothing), he had unburdened himself of the past. He got his knees on the bathmat and then bowed in the direction of Homeland. “God, the one and the many, hear my humble offering that I should be guided by your hands. That the words of the Prophets should occupy my thoughts.” He could not bring himself to wish his band and family God’s blessings.

“Forgive my weakness,” he added, lamely.

Dr. Ice yelled into the bathroom, “Come on, Frosty, there other people out here, yo?”

Frosty ignored the singer and took the shower, also keeping to tradition (except for the conservation of water… they were a long way from the desserts of Homeland, after all!) he cleaned himself. He did not get all the red hairs out of himself, but his exterior was fur less now. He toweled off the way he’d seen other, non Chromatic Repts do. The traditional way just took to long, especially when one was soaking wet and not just damp. And it felt good.

He also spread moisturizer and sanitizer to his skin. Dry Rept skin could carry bacteria if one wasn’t careful. While the plague stories of long-ago weren’t true, other types of outbreak did sometimes happen. Kudzu insisted that this was merely Warm Propaganda, but Frosty had seen the science. And, most of the issues were actually where one type of Rept found the infection harmless passed it to another type of Rept who found it very harmful. Plus, anything to prevent ashy skin. If he had a vanity, it would be the perfect green of his outer arms and legs. Most of the rest of him was snow white, tinting a pine green around his fingers, toes, and his orifices. Like Dr. Ice, he was a rare “sport” Bearded Dragon. Unlike the performer, Frosty didn’t think this made him special, just interesting to look at.

His ablutions completed, and the Tzitzis returned to his chest and placed himself prostate towards to Homeland, hating that he was forced to praise the God, hidden from the others. He was the only half decent Chromatic in the The Large Scale Event. He no longer felt the comfort in his lone dedication that he once might have, or the self-satisfaction.

Just as well, his father would probably call those feelings mere vanity.

When Frosty was finished, Dr. Ice was gone, probably to use one of the suite’s other bathrooms. Other musicians were beginning to wake up now. Large Scale Records had given their artists a choice for this tour. Each group could get their own room or all the performers could share a huge high class suite. The talent decided to go with the huge suite, which meant the space was practically a party house around the clock.

Frosty felt himself being sucked in little by little. He wasn’t sure if he was loosening up or slowly being corrupted. He was of two minds on that. That thing last night with the Fox. He thought they’d just snuggled, her warmth seeping into his limbs so sweetly during the night. In shower, he had discovered hairs where there really should ought not to have been. He was completely unfamiliar of the migratory behavior of fur; except that he knew it got every where. Still, it bothered him that he might sin so easily and not even wake up for it.

Or remember it.

They’d be here for three more days. A day recording with some old Jazz singer he’d never heard of so Large Scale could make the old Gecko relevant and justify buying his whole library (and not to avoid a lawsuit because Bling-Bling’s much anticipated solo album lifted a dozen distinct tracks from the Jazz Legend best of album). Then another stage show the next night, and then everyone was scheduled for interviews with multi-media outlets. They’d be talking to everyone from fan club newsletter writers to Chicago tv personalities. They’d all be asking the same questions and expecting different, exclusive answers.

Kudzu had already made it clear he’d be doing Dr. Ice’s interviews for him. Dr. Ice could reach the backrow with his voice, but he clammed up one on one. Frosty’s parody of Dr. Ice seemed to go over big with the Journalists and Dr. Ice could never be bothered to read or listen to his “own” interview. He’d lose a day organizing the packing. That was his only regret, because it was fun being Dr. Ice for a little bit.

He’d hate to have to be Dr. Ice all the time.

Frosty stepped over a few sleeping bodies, naked but not exposed. He didn’t bother lifting his tail. They were all going to have to wake up in an hour or so anyway. A few ladies would need to gather up their crap and begin their walk of shame soon. The boys could handle the groupies their own way. Unless, Kudzu got into a snit and ordered them to all clear out.

Kudzu was part owner in Large Scale Records, so he could do crap like that. This was their first tour as a label outside of New Netherlands and he’d made it very clear that he was in charge of the tour. None of the other owners could stay with the tour beginning to end and Kudzu had the tour and production experience to make it work.

Frosty wasn’t exactly sure how he’d gotten dragged into this, but he liked it just fine. It was nice to meet people out of the Green Band, but they were all so demanding and he never knew what they expected of him. He hated leaving New Amsterdam but his parents wanted him to keep an eye on Kudzu, his older and bigger brother.

He was happy to be the smart and sensible one in the family, but sometimes it was a real pain.

Kudzu, you see, was insane; a steam roller in the shape of a Bearded Dragon.

He was the most dynamic, chaotic Rept that Frosty had ever seen. It’s like his brother lived in a frying pan. It was annoying and frustrating and made worse by the very fact that no matter what bad choices he made, everything worked out for him. Everything.

Kudzu was huge. He’d grown like the weed he’d chosen as a name, smothering and crushing all other life about him.

He could hear Kudzu in the suite’s dining room holding court. As he poured his coffee, he eavesdropped a little. Reporter. Typical Kudzu. In two more days, he’d be chatting with a dozen different reporters. Kudzu liked to see his name in print, even if it was just his stage name. He only heard two voices. Frosty sighed and pour a glass of ice water for Kudzu, who wouldn’t taking until his voice was hoarse.

“No, it’s not that I don’t think that Reptile are a superior race,” Kudzu was saying provocatively to a Avi reporter holding out a cigarette pack sized recorder. He was dressed in a Heartland garb, which reminded him with a pang of his father. His brother continued, “But we’ve been conquered by sheer numbers and we always will. And the more we allow ourselves to be a part of soul crushing religions, sects, and political parties, the worse it gets as a whole for the Cold-Blooded.”

Frosty did not see the PR person around. That was worrisome.

He meant to discreetly leave the glass at Kudzu’s side, but the huge green and brown Rept jumped up, his gold chains rattling. His gold plated ivory sun glasses were his face on, despite being indoors. It canceled the mirrored coated sunglasses that sat atop the bill of his baseball cap. Kudzu’s whimsy. His gold coated Tzitzis shimmered in like a gaudy rash on his right shoulder. The man had no respect.

Then Kudzu smiled and his lower set of teeth were gold capped. His sharp upper teeth had been etched with the words ST.GEORGE and then inlaid with gold. Frosty disguised his reaction by grabbing his brother’s spare set of glasses, as if the glare from his brother’s smile had been too much. He gave a very non-emotive Dr. Ice hand shake as as Kudzu introduced him to Dave Sterling from Force magazine. The colorless claw from the feathered arm felt like a Rept’s but lighter, and disturbingly warm.

Unlike Kudzu, Dr. Ice moved to a purpose only. Once he sat, he stayed still; moving only to sip his coffee. From behind the glasses, Frosty studied the Avi reporter. Sterling was a duck of some sort, or so the Rept thought from his bill and his exposed web feet. He wore a blue grand boubou, embroidered with gaudy golden ankhs. With this draping garment, he didn’t need pants, but the most Avi did without these days anyway. He wore a matching kufi hat that made him look taller. As he sat back down, Sterling casually adjusted the back of the brocade blouse so his tail feathers would stay pointed in the right direction.

Kudos to him for letting them grow out, Frosty thought. Shame he’s not letting them out, but then nobody wants to see those silly short things curling all different ways. You’d have to have a longer tail than a Duck’s to pull it off with the boubou.

Before the reporter could ask the elusive Dr. Ice a question, Kudzu began his on his manifesto again. Frosty maintained Dr. Ice’s bored and cool persona, through out the rambling diatribe, which was easy because he’d heard it all before. Kudzi, as the rapper Saint George, headliner of the Knights of Saint George spewed out a lot of shit to see what would stick to the wall. Journalists got to pick and choose what sentences to use and if anything came back to bite Saint George in the tail, his brother would rightly claim the sentence was taken out of context.

The context, of course, would be pure nonsense.

Frosty, as Dr. Ice, watched the Avi to see if he was onto his brother’s game. Most of the best reporters were and they, in on the joke, laughed at anyone who took Saint George seriously. He did have a growing fanbase and he was poised to be the first rap superstar from the East Coast, since the 80’s. Despite the nonsense, interviews with the bedazzled Bearded Dragon sold issues. It was just another example of his brother doing something the absolute wrong way and coming up smelling like roses. Sterling, however, seemed to smell the fertilizer Kudzu was shoveling.

Frosty allowed himself a small smile, that the Avi might or might not notice. Everyone knew how to read Mammal expressions because there was just so many of them. You grew up watching them on television. Every blink, twitch, facial muscle tug, pretty much meant the same thing across the boards. Avi and Repts were more subtle than that. Repts had hand gestures, head bobbing, blink series, color changes, and tail slapping. Some species even had dewlaps that expanded and colored. Avi had crests, eye shapes, head motions, and a few facial muscles that they could shape into a smile behind their beaks if they practiced.

Frosty had read somewhere that scientists now thought the Avi and Rept species were very closely related, that they had evolved from the same fish that crawled out of the ocean and eventually became what was now known to be dinosaurs. It seemed an interesting article, but when he got the sentence, “Avi sapiens are simply more evolved,” he tossed the magazine. Even science was full of Anthro bias.

“The West Coast rappers,” Kudzu said, grabbing Frosty’s attention again, “They are all against us. And by us I mean myself and my Knights, Dr. Ice here, and entire the Large Scale Records talent stable. There’s this basic philosophic attitude that they are unbending on, that only true rap can come out of places like Compton. But what they are forgetting is that hip hop began in the Bronx, that Grandmaster Coldblood brought it to The Harlem Opry, that Rept:DOA brought it to television. Poor money management is what done in the East Coast rap record labels. The scene didn’t collapse, it didn’t go away, just the labels. That’s why PumpDaddy, Street Dog, and I founded Large Scale with Dick Dagwood, a rap fan with all the musical talent of a cash register.”

“They call him Ka-ching,” Frosty interjected. Dagwood had been producing since his college days on Loon Beach Island. He had plenty of talent which included a nose for finding fresh talent and he knew how to manage the money. They really owed their continued success to him, perhaps more so than their own talent. He liked being mentioned and he liked the ribbing, too. He was a good man, for a Bear.

Kudzu laughed at this outright lie with a hardy laugh. By tomorrow, they would be calling Darwood Ka-Ching. Sterling took this as his opening to ask Dr. Ice a question, “What’s your view on the West Coast-East Coast feud?”

“I din’t tink mush ov it you’know,” Frosty mumbled, “But them depth threats… feh, they coward anyhoo. We got nuthin’ to worry 'bout.”

Kudzu made a dismissive gesture so obvious even a Mammal couldn’t miss it.

Sterling dove into the gap. “What death threats have you been getting?”

“No death threats,” Kudzu said. “Just big talk from little men. Don’t mean a thang.” This was of course exactly the thing to say that might antagonize any serious threat, but Saint George had to be fearless in the face of danger. “Any devisiveness among Repts serves no one but the Warm Blooded Power Structure. It is of the utmost importance that we remember that.”

The interview continued on in a similar vein until the timer went off. The Duck looked a little frustrated as they shook hands. Once he closed the door, Kudzu turned to Frosty and said, “You know, I think Dad has a dress like that.”

Frosty chuckled. Now that he thought about it, it was true. “It’s called a boubou. And it looks better on Father.” A pit of yearning opened up inside of him. He wished he had the relationship with his father where he could just simply call him and say, I saw something that reminded me of you today. Frosty had no idea why there was a gap between them. No idea why all of his father’s loving attention went to Kudzu.

“What happened with Jarvis Munch, the PR guy?” Frosty folded his arms across his chest. “You promised you wouldn’t give interviews if he wasn’t here.”

“I fired him,” Kudzu spoke with disarming frankness. When he spoke like that, Frosty thought his brother would have made a great mad scientist. “He insisted that we downplay the East Coast/West Coast Feud.”

Frosty’s head bobbled with annoyance and his tail slapped the ground trice. “But that’s exactly what you did!”

Kudzu smiled his ivory and gold smile. “Did I?” He asked, heading back for the kitchen where breakfast for the posse was finally getting under way. “Did I really?” Then he laughed and glanced back. “Go put some clothes on, my brother.”

Grumbling, Frosty did as he was told.

Sunrise chases shadows into hiding across the mountain side.
They huddle beneath snow covered pines, small and impotent fragments of the night.
Treetop snow weeps as it wastes away, untouched by a child’s hand .
A single pine needle collects all its sad tears, for the time when it needs to cry.

Frosty opened his eyes and found himself in the stairwell of the hotel. A cell phone in his hand and a guilty shadow hovering behind him. He didn’t recognize whose phone it was, but it was probably one of the rentals LSR got for them. Luckily, he knew his parent’s number by heart. It rang and then his mother’s sweet voice. Her “greeting” seemed a little strained, however.

“Mom, it’s Frosty. Is everything OK?” Then belatedly, he responded, in kind, “All things come from the creator.”

Her voice warmed up, “Oh, everything is fine. We’ve just been getting the strangest calls. Your father says we might have to get an unlisted number… Imagine that. Him volunteering for the extra expense and all that.”

Frugality. The Green Band wasn’t known for spending more than they had to. Just another reason this Saint George business must be eating his father alive. The excess and the gaudiness of Kudzu’s rise to stardom flew against everything their father ever tried to teach them.

“What type of calls?”

“Oh the press,” his mother relented as if he’d kinked her tail. “They asked how we felt about someone declaring war on Singe. I really had no idea who they were talking about. It’s your brother. He got a new name, again. Again! You can tell him he can make his own Tzitzin this time. I saw what he did to the others. Such a waste.”

He wanted to swear, Of course, he got the press chattering about a feud. All by saying almost nothing when Frosty had brought up the death threats. How did his brother do it? Instead, he said, “Chromatics change their names all the time, mother.”

“No,” she said sharply. “No, we express our name-image differently. As we grow older and wiser, we reinterpret ourselves. Furthermore, your brother has made it quite clear he no longer follows Mosaic as prophet and guide. And his attempt to create a Gold band is pure mockery. Your father can barely roll out his sajada at the mosque without hearing disgruntled murmuring.”

Frosty looked at the cell phone in disbelief.

“I didn’t know Chromatics could be rude during worship,” he said honestly. He rather liked the idea. It made them seem like normal people.

“Well, mostly it is the young men. The new ones. Your father ignores them.”

Frosty took the plunge there. “Is father there? I saw something that reminded me of him today. A boubou. This one was blue, not green, but the embroidery was identical.”

“Oh, yes, I know the one you mean. He has a black one just like it, but of course, he never wears it any more.”

Suddenly, the line went dead and a strange dial tone came out of the cell phone.

Dr. Ice came into the stairwell silently and took a judgmental stance. They were almost mirror images of each other, except for their obvious attitudes. Frosty could see the singer was mad at him, but he didn’t know why. He felt sure he should know. Dr. Ice held out his hand for the phone, and then suddenly Frosty remembered whose phone this was.

He sheepishly handed the cell phone back.

The recording session with Jonny Heartland started out a little awkwardly. The three limos the Large Scale posse took from the hotel filled up the parking lot. Shedding Skin studio was an unimpressive concrete block. Paint peeled off the building in foot long swatches, almost if to match its name.

To this, Kudzu had dragged a million dollars worth of equipment and talent. This time, it was just Frosty that cast doubtful looks. The big Rept smiled and cajoled and got the crew moving. The talent mostly sat around and smoked, most of it legal. Frosty began wrangling the crew when Kudzu began cursing at the front door. It took only a few moments for everyone to realize the giant Bearded Dragon was stymied by an old fashioned set of “man doors.”

And that he was stuck.

Before there could be too much ribbing (and before Kudzu could break the antique doors), a young Gecko with an absurd penciled on mustache appeared and expertly extracted the large Rept. He introduced himself as Felix Climber. Climber explained that the building started out as a Speakeasy. The narrow doorway kept the visitors and police single file, more or less. The Gecko pointed out two small black and white signs. The bigger sign said, “WARM ENTRY” and the smaller one below that said “Cold Entrance” with an arrow pointing to the right.

“Follow me,” the Gecko said, turning to the right. They followed a well worn path into the grass around the building to a wide barn door. Above the door, were several signs, of every shape and size declaring this the Reptile Entrance. “As these signs came down in the 50’s, my grandfather made it a point to collect them and nail them up here. Each one is a little victory for Rept Rights.”

One of the biggest signs had the word COLD crossed out. The word “Talent” had been painted over it.

This made Frosty smile.

Inside, the walls were floor to ceiling knotted pine paneling. Black and white pictures of various obscure Rept Jazz and Blues singers were arranged in a oddly low line across the walls. On the desks and tables were various pieces of equipment. “This looks a museum,” Frosty said, still dubious.

They made way for a few roadies and then Climber said, “Yes, actually, we are legally listed as a museum. It keeps the doors open, but we are still a fully functional studio.”

If fully functional counted as 8 track analog recording deck, then Climber was absolutely correct. Their sound tech and Climber got into working out the details right away. A baby grand took up much of studio one and the equipment was sensitive enough to pick up a strange echo on test, which pleased and annoyed the sound tech and Kudzu. Rearranging the mikes and putting up a few baffles seemed to do the trick. Frosty heard nothing, but it made them happy.

Jonny Hartman arrived, looking gray and dusty. He wore black shorts and a white heated hoodie, although it was a warm summer day. Both were well broken in, almost too worn for wearing, but then an Alligator’s skin was roughly corrugated, almost serrated in spots. Frosty gave Kudzu a dubious look and for the first time Kudzu gave him an equally dubious double blink back.

In the next instant, Kudzu seemed to snap on, super charged and jolly, he began the introductions and the assignments. Everyone supposedly already knew who’d be singing what and had time to listen to the original versions of their songs, but some people study better than others. There would not be time for retakes here. They be done in the Large Scale studio mixer. It was getting so you could fix almost anything electronically.

The old one was pleasant and modest and almost overwhelmed by the attention. His teeth were like indian corn, some white, some brown, but most of them yellow. Only the white ones seemed sharp, making Frosty wonder if the 'Gator had dentures or if he still had teeth growing in, like a shark.

Heartland seemed especially interested in meeting Mimic. The Box Turtle was Large Scales best Living beatbox and the story of his disfigurement as a child in the early 60’s was pretty well know. Turns out that Heartland had been in the same protest mob when the cops let loose the water cannons. The old man seemed surprised that Mimic didn’t really want to talk “the good old days.”

It takes a lot of time before you can look back on tragedy fondly. Mimic probably had two or three decades to go before he could look back and smile about being ripped apart in the streets, on live television, yet.

“Well, the reason I brought it up is, I’ve been watching your career, young man… and it seems to me you started as something of a novelty act. But you transcended that. The sounds you make with your body… well, son, they remind me of my friend Lefty Terrapin. He went off to “the Last Great War” and came back with two legs and an arm missing.”

“Land mind?” Mimic ask dutifully.

“No, he got tangled up in some barb wire. Ripped himself up something good, did Lefty, and of course, everything’s infected by the time they get him to a M.A.S.H. Unit. Fool surgeon, overworked, cut off the arm and legs thinking, they’d grow back.”

Several of the Repts flinched, including Mimic. The rest hadn’t really been listening. Some Repts could grow a portion of their tails back, but they were the exception and not the rule. It was a common Warm misconception and almost every Rept family had a sad story involving that myth.

Mimic’s plastron deformities were cause by random high pressure water injection. He was sent home from the hospital the next day with little more than a antiseptic salve spread on chest and groin. The doctors apparently believing that since the plastron and the shell on a Turtle’s back “broke apart” as a Turtle matured and became more limber, that the dead shell pieces would fall off by themselves. Instead, Mimic’s plastron grew wild and unchecked.

Mimic, at least, been able to remake himself, if not reshape himself. Frosty had always admired the Turtle’s strength. If he were torn apart like that, Frosty did not know if he’d be able to put himself back together.

“Now, we promised Lefty a place in the ensemble if he made it back alive… so we made him this.” The alligator took out a tie box. It’s a little weird, but I thought you might be able to use it in your act."

Mimic pulled out some vealgut strings strung between two odd pieces of wood and metal. He raised an eyebrow at the Alligator. "Lefty was a bass player. If you clip this on the bottom of your… um, vent there… " Mimic just looked dumbly at Heartland, so the old 'Gator just clipped it onto Mimic himself with a clinical mechanical air. “And this part here…” The top piece was obviously a compact headstock with tuning pegs and clipped that to at the plastron, pushing the Turtle’s head back, Mimic took this with remarkable good humor tinged with a little embarrassment.

“Mr. Climber,” the old Jazz artist called out, “Do you have a two inch pickup I could borrow?”

Climber scurried away as Frosty and Kudzu exchanged looks. Heartland hadn’t signed anything yet; all the agreements were just verbal. Over 100 hours of studio hours would be wasted if the 'Gator didn’t sign.

“Now,” The 'Gator looked at Mimic as if the Turtle had just come back into the room. “Now, do you know how to play a bass?”

“Ummm, no,” Mimc said trying to his head to a comfortable position.

“No worries, Lefty hadn’t a clue either but he learned. At least, you won’t need you tongue for the cord changes.” He clapped Mimic on the back as Climber handed him a small piece of wood roughly shaped a toddler’s brass knuckles. “Yes, this should do.”

The 'Gator stuck the wood between the strings and the Turtle’s hard stomach. He tuned it 90 degrees and it strings hummed a bit as they slid into notches. Mimic made a little noise himself.

“Now, I’d tune you myself, but my arms are too short to go around you.”

“Dr. Ice can play bass.” Kudzu volunteered and Frosty rolled his eyes. They were burning valuable studio time and Heartland had already made it clear he would not, could not travel out of state. Before he could say anything, Dr. Ice stepped forward and put his arms around Mimic from behind.

Dr. Ice had tuned the gimmick on Mimic’s chest, quick and easy. Mimic stood stiffly, with his arms out straight and his fingers twitching with embarrassment. But he was a trouper, and he knew that this was important. Then Dr. Ice just held him for a moment from behind and ran his hands up the Turtle’s plastron, from below the vent then up and around the holes and protrusions that marked his orange-brown front. There were some giggles as Mimic took on a look a ill-ease. He moved his head awkwardly, and Dr. Ice blew on his neck. The living beatbox stiffened, eyes wide, at the unexpected sensation. “I’m going to play you now,” Dr. Ice said in a velvet whisper and the Turtle’s eyes went wider still.

Dr. Ice’s piece for today was supposed to be one of Heartland’s more popular love songs, From Brooklyn to the Bayou. He didn’t remember it exactly, but it was Jazz, so he just rolled with it. Mimic squirmed within the green and white embrace trying not to move. He finally pressed a hand below his vent as the sensation came close to overwhelming him. Then, finally, he could stand it no more and he looked up at the ceiling and opened his mouth as if to scream. Instead, was a serious of shrill wheezing sounds and then the screech of a turn-table scratch escaped his beak. As Dr. Ice continued to pluck at him, producing sensations and music directly into his brain, Mimic sung out a living percussion beat of
harmony.

Suddenly, Kudzu bellowed, “Get in the studio! The three of you!”

Dr. Ice tried to pick up Mimic like he would his own bass, but the Turtle batted him away. “I can walk,” he said but instead he stared into Dr. Ice’s sunglass covered eyes for a full minute.

“So, walk,” Dr. Ice said with a smile in his voice and a gentle push.

In the recording both, Heartland pushed the stool away and spread his legs in a catcher’s stance and his body bent forward in an arc until the chin of his toothy mouth rested on the baby grand. His arms too short to play it any other way but it did not look at all comfortable. Climber adjusted a mike over the Alligator’s head and the Large Scale sound tech added a stool and a mike for Dr. Ice. The special mike set up for the living beatbox was already in place.

Dr. Ice looked cool and steady while Mimic trembled with excitement. When the sound tech asked for a beatbox check, Dr. Ice reached forward and slapped his palms on the Turtles chest like he was playing bongo drums. Mimic sucked in a breath in surprise and then began spitting out bongo noises.

The sound tech brought them all wireless head sets and the Kudzu counted down, 3-2-1… Dr. Ice lead the way, playing From Brooklyn to The Bayou as he remembered it. It was close; close enough for Jazz. Mimic had surrendered to Dr. Ice, straightening and relaxing as the Bearded Dragon directed… Then Mimic jumped in with percussion like grunts and squeals, bringing the rhythm forth.

Then Jonny Heartland threw in the piano, wild and kinetic, in synch with Dr. Ice and Mimic but with a slight counterpoint that suggested things this piece was not at all tamed. And how the old Rept had moved! From the tip of his thick serrated tail to the end of his snout, the Alligator was in motion swaying to in time to the music. Jaws dropped on the other side of the glass.

The 'Gator was not done with his surprises yet. When he opened his mouth to sing, it wasn’t the smooth longing velvet voice of his younger days. A strong, steady, but harsh voice of bitterness escaped his body, turning the love song sour. He didn’t sing in Aenglish, but in the noble, slang-free Xeno-Voice of his youth. Click-clack, they’d called it in the Age of Jazz.

And when the song called for Brooklyn, he sang out Harlem, instead.

They tired and slowed towards the end and Kudzu hit the heat lamps to help keep them going. The song ended at 3 minutes and 14 seconds. Mimic kept saying, “Oh my stars, oh my stars.” and he had to cover his lower to keep from embarrassing himself. Dr. Ice patted the Turtle’s head. Together, they then helped Heartwell outside to cool off.

“Got it on the one take,” Frosty said when he was done listening to the playback.

Kudzu nodded, a big shiny smile on his face. “Good thing, too. We couldn’t get Mimic to do that again.”

“That old man is just about ready to go again,” Frosty could barely believe it. “You did good with this plan of yours, Singe.”

“Oh you, heard about that, did you?”

Frosty nodded. “Mom let it slip.”

“I’m going to spell it a dollar sign instead of an S.”

Frosty rolled his eyes. “Of course, you are.” He raised a bowl of cold chai in a salute. “Here’s to $inge.”

His brother raised his mineral water and clinked their bowls. “Here’s to Dr. Ice, for getting this thang going on a high note.”

Frosty hesitated for a moment and then shrugged. It wasn’t like he expected much personal recognition but then Dr. Ice had really knocked it out of the park.

The cold chai felt surprisingly good on his rough throat.

The next recording was with Lady Pink. It was a duet, One House/Two Rules, his first single. They both crooned it, but as father and daughter instead of husband and wife. Heartland’s velvet was still there, just a little thinner. A little sadder. In the end, even Lady Pink sounded sad and brokenhearted to be declaring her independence.

Once again, the vocals were completed on the first take. The second take was for the piano only. Listening to the playback on his head set, Heartland rolled out the notes smoothly and professionally. He hit the keys without looking at them, his body arched again so his short arms could reach all of the ivory without trouble.

The next five sets continued as wonderfully as the first two. Mimic eventually came out of the water closet and did his assigned set with Heartland. It was a gimmick comedy piece that the 'Gator had done with the USO Orchestra near the end of the Last Great War. Instrumental, it told the story of a 4f boy with a run down jalopy, driving all over town looking for a date. All the soldiers were back and the girls all wanted a real hero instead. Heartland took the piano. Mimic got the whole orchestra, as well as all the sound effects. Mimic did several takes, to layer the sound effects, and then he had a last minute inspiration to add the sounds of a jail break and drive by shootings. The story changing to all the girls wanting real gangstas, and not some poser. Heartland and Kudzu gave their approval, and Kudzu wrote up a little news bulletin for the 'Gator read.

“We interrupt this educational program with a special report. There’s been a jailbreak and we have unconfirmed reports that upwards to 100 immoral sex-starved gangsta are roaming the streets looking for a booty call. Please stay indoors until this emergency is over.” He sounded like a flat television reporter; earnest, clear, and precise, but boring as hell. It was exactly what Kudzu wanted.

The last session was the hardest. Bling Bling just hadn’t picked up on all the excitement that the old Jazz musician had created. In fact, he seemed a little surly and resentful about the whole thing. And it was a simple love song call Cold Charline. After a dozen takes, Frosty pulled him out of the recording booth and into Climber’s office. “What gives?”

“Boo, this is taking all day. It was supposed to be just two hours here. A little vanity project just to get the old guy to sign over his catalog.”

“Do you not hear how good he is? This isn’t about your little legal mistake anymore. This old man is going to net us legit awards and press.”

“Everyone lifts tracks, Boo.”

“Not half a song’s worth.” Frosty poked the Anole in his chest. “Get back out there and sing Cold Charline like your life depended on it.”

“Does it have to be Cold Charline? It’s going to sound a lot like the first track on the album.”

Frosty rolled his eyes. “Well, big surprise there.” Frosty thumped his tail thoughtfully and held his tongue until he was certain he could answer civilly. “Can you play an instrument? Besides the tambourine and rainstick?”

“OK, well, then be a good spot and we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

On the third take after that, Heartland figured out BB’s heart wasn’t in it and he played Cold Charline as a half slow blues song. Suddenly, Bling Bling’s apathetic robot droning turned sorrowful, regretful, pathetic, and guilty without changing anything.

Frosty turned to Kudzu. There was the big golden smile again. Another miracle turn around. Everyone stood then and the small building exploded with applause.

Exhausted and spent, Heartland declined to grab dinner with them. He signed the contracts and Kudzu gave him an much bigger check than he expected. The 'Gator looked ancient now, the marathon studio sessions had taken quite a toll, and he barely had the energy to put the check in his wallet. Humbled and embarrassed, Jonny Heartland asked for a ride. He’d missed the last bus home.

One of the three limos made the loop to the other side of town while the other two went straight to the night club. Frosty, Kudzu, Mimic and Bling Bling stared at the old 'Gator. During the 15 minute ride, Heartland seemed to age to 100. His dentures dropped out of alignment as he snored away. His short arms trembled in his sleep. In the passing street lights, Frosty noted that the elderly man’s claws were all shattered and split. His home address turned out to be a third floor walk-up in a tinderbox of a building. The three normal sized Repts and the Dog chauffeur carried the sleeping old man into his room. The refrigerator was empty except for a can of raccoon food.

They did not find a pet 'coon in the apartment.

“That could be us one day,” Frosty said to all of them on the way to the club Lady Pink had recommended. He looked at Kudzu, who had looked haunted realizing how very badly the ancient performer was doing. Frosty had savored that look, but already his brother had shaken it off. All it had taken was sending the Dog out to the nearest store and stocking the place with food to ease his guilt.

Kudzu smiled again. “Not me, I plan to die young and leave a pretty corpse.”

Frosty chuckled. “We should probably knock you off soon then before you get any uglier.”

Everyone laughed, except the driver and Bling Bling. He sat there sullen and annoyed. Finally, he appealed to Kudzu. “Big guy, we aren’t really going to use that last song, are we? I know you feel sorry for the old man, but… it just doesn’t fit the rest of the songs we did.”

Kudzu stared back at young rapper. Frosty knew he didn’t like Bling Bling’s attitude. He wished he could see his brother’s coloring just then. With only the passing streetlights, the depth of Kudzu’s mood was hidden from him. Bling Bling went to say more, but Kudzu cut him off. “Let’s wait and see what we got at the big mixing table when we get back to New Amsterdam.” His voice reminded them all that he was the boss.

At the club, they entered with a lot of bravado and splash, calling more attention to themselves that Frosty was comfortable with. The packed scene bellowed “George!” Drinks were held high in salute. The house DJ played Kudzu’s more controversial songs, The Cold War. The patrons were all Repts. They danced with their tails in the air. Their arms pumping in time with the beat.

Frosty was still too much a Chromatic to be comfortable in a scene like this, but he mixed a little. He shook hands and tried not to step on anyone’s tail. He was more interested in the scene than making a scene. He studied it; best research available. Frosty allowed himself to fade into the background.

He watched Kudzu smiling, showing off his gilded smile and chest to a thong of female Repts gathered about him several feet thick. His fame, his wealth, and his power all attracting his admirers. What were these whores to him? Or more importantly, what were these women to their families? What was Kudzu destroying with his temptations? Did the big guy even care?

No, Frosty decided, his brother was oblivious to all but himself and his art. His craft.

He watched Mimic for awhile. The Box Turtle had limited himself to merely two women, as he often did. He’d had fame most of his life and it had apparently warped his moral compass as well. But then he had never achieved fame as an artist as the infamous Saint George had. As victim, yes. As a performer, yes. As a novelty act, yes. Yet, not as a star. He caught Frosty watching him and his eyes went deep, and he looked exposed, like an deer recognizing a hunter for what he was. Their glances locked and for a moment, Mimic looked lost.

Frosty gave him a smile and raised his mineral water to him. Mimic smiled back. For a moment, he looked innocent before turned back to his girls, rejoining their conversation.

Frosty caught sight of Bling Bling. The Anole’s mood seemed to have improved. He’d narrowed in on Dr. Ice and together they sneaked out a side door, casually.

Nobody noticed.

Frosty Pine awoke the next day to a sense of deja vu, as warm hands and a wet tongue fondled his right foot. Incredulous, the slim Bearded Dragon sat up. Sweet Ginger gave him a hungry suggestive look from between his own claws. He shook her off, careful not to poke her eyes out or something. “Bling-Bling!” he bellowed as he wiped the saliva off. Bling Bling did not swoop in immediately, so he bellowed again. Another Anole, this one sea green and using the name Knight Moves, showed up with one of their security guards. By this time, the fox was kissing and fondling his crest. “Bounce this Bitch,” he ordered the guard.

The guard scooped her up much the way Bling Bling had yesterday morning. She laughed like a mad woman and waved good bye. At least, she was enjoying the ride.

Frosty turned to Knight, “Bling Bling has got to stop bringing these crazy whores in here.”

The singer shrugged. “Actually, we thought she was with you. Besides, BB didn’t make it back last night.”

Frosty stopped cleaning himself and looked at the bed sheet, surprised at the amount of hairs on it. On the whole bed, actually. Am I really that much of a sound sleeper? He felt incredibly uneasy, as if there was something he should know or do.

Realizing that the back-up singer was waiting for a response, and uncertain of the question, Frosty gave a halfhearted, “Hmph.” Then he realized that he was hung-over. Somebody must have slipped me something. It was probably that gold-digging Fox with the foot fixation. He almost didn’t hear Knight say that he’d tried calling Bling-Bling’s cell phone.

“That damned fool is just pissed that he’s not getting his own way with his first release.” Frosty said dismissively. “He’ll be back with an agent by lunch, you’ll see.”

The Anole wanted to say more but seemed indecisive, so Frosty saved him the trouble by staggering off to take a shower. He really hated mornings.

He went through his morning ablutions in the locked privacy of the bathroom, taking the now familiar shortcuts and trying not to think about his hang-over. He didn’t drink. But people do have blackouts when they drink, he thought as he re-attached his little badges. Sometimes.

A terrible guilt swept up through him and his tail began thumping on the floor so hard it hurt. “No,” he whispered. “This is just free-floating anxiety. Not guilt. Not guilt.”

When he looked in the mirror, he noticed that his Tzitzis were all out of order. He barely remembered putting them on. “OK,” he told the mirror. “Now, I feel a little guilty.” He took them all off and put them back on in the proper order.

“I’m losing myself,” he told his reflection. “This isn’t my life. I’m not supposed to be here.”

“You got that right,” a voice from beyond the door growled. “Other people need to take a dump, you know.”

Dr. Ice. Frosty closed his eyes and gathered himself. I’m nothing like Dr. Ice.

to be continued

Part Two

Frosty sat with Kudzu at the breakfast table. They were eating beetle filled crepes. Everything tasted off. “So, where’d you go last night?” Kudzu asked with a full mouth. “You missed a great photo op.”

“I don’t like photo ops.” Frosty said sourly. The coffee tasted tinny. His mood wasn’t improving. “What happened?”

“I ‘accidentally’ ran into EnFamous Raptor and his West Coast posse last night. Words were exchanged and there was pushing and hissing and tail slapping. Threats were made in front of a wall of paparazzi. It was glorious.” Kudzu’s head bobbed in a silent and satisfied chuckle. “The cops showed up, all of them Warm and fuzzy, and the crowd just went wild. Chased the cops away. The club owner took care of them, convinced him we were being dramatic and that no one had gotten hurt. He warned them not to escalate the situation. They went away.”

“Just as you planned,” Frosty half joked, half accused.

“I could not have planned it better.” Kudzu agreed and denied at the same time. “How did you not notice this?”

Frosty did not want to admit that he suspected someone had slipped something in his water. That felt too much like date rape. He didn’t feel victimized. In fact, he felt vaguely guilty. “I was getting quite drunk.”

Kudzu did a double-take and then smiled. Not a Saint George golden smile, but the more subtle Rept smile; open mouthed slightly, no teeth showing, and loosening of his facial muscles around his eyes. Much as Mimic had smiled at him last night. “Frosty…” Then his brother stopped, and forgot whatever he was going to say. He seemed to look deep into Frosty’s soul and then glanced about to make sure they were alone. “I know this tour’s been hard on you, and I really do want you to loosen up and have fun. But, I still want you to be yourself. We don’t need another me.”

Another me.

Frosty felt uncomfortable in his brother’s insight. He had no way of knowing if his brother was sincere or just saying whatever he felt needed to be said. Or what he thought. “I just worry. I don’t want you to end up like Heartland. You just live on the edge and burn through cash. We’ve seen so many record labels fail… and I worry.” It was an awfully lame lie, but at the same time, it felt like something that needed to be said.

“I’ve done a lot of growing up since becoming St. George. I’ve learned a lot about business hands-on when we were getting Large Scale off the ground. I’ve got investments. I even have a will. It all goes to you. That’s why I wanted you along.”

Frosty nodded, willing his tail not to slap down. Their parents had wanted him to go with Kudzu. Obviously, his big brother hadn’t veto’d the idea, but that was a long way from wanting him along.

“You just can’t get by on simply singing, any more.” Kudzu said wisely.

Frosty nodded his white head knowingly. He should be relieved that Kudzu had another serious side to him. Yet, the thought that his brother showing him only one of his sides – until now – bothered him. He’d wanted his brother to change, hadn’t he?

“Speaking about Heartland, I spoke with Pumpdaddy and Dagwood last night. You know how we were going to just do a one off label with his stuff so we can justify BB’s lifting it?” Kudzu paused to let Frosty nod painfully. “We’re going make it a prestige, reprint label. Rescue the old music and make a buck or two. Do some serious music.” Kudzu gave another natural smile, not showing off his grill.

Frosty smiled back, although it was a little forced. “Did you tell Bling Bling, yet?”

Kudzu’s face lost all expression. “Not that he has any say in the matter, but no. I haven’t seen him this morning.”

“Knight said he didn’t come back last night.”

Kudzu waves a dismissive green hand. It looked oddly naked without his gold rings. “He vanished when the cops showed up. Knowing him, he probably had more weed on him than our lawyers would have liked. And who knows what else.”

Frosty sipped at his coffee and the tinniness hadn’t gone away. “Ugg, can you pass me the sugar?” He asked, reaching out to his brother for it.

Kudzu froze in the act of passing the sugar bowl, startled. He stared at Frosty’s hand and then glared at Frosty’s face. Confused, Frosty looked at his hand, half expecting to find it blood-splattered and covered in gore. Instead, it was a nice clean hand with a white palm, tinting green on the edges and finger tips. It was his hand, each claw tip scrubbed and filed to a safe round tips. Nothing monstrous at all about his hand, reaching out for the sugar bowl.

Then he realized that this was his left hand, and he snatched it back, ashamed. He hissed, trying not to curse, confounding his sins. His right hand pressed the offending hand against his own chest, careful not to let either hand touch his badges. Frosty looked at his brother, horrified, trying to form an apology.

Kudzu burst out laughing. He pushed the sugarbowl across the table, using a fork to get it right next to Frosty’s coffee cup. “I’m telling Daddy!” he mocked and then, in their father’s voice, “I don’t blame you, son. I blame those people you’ve been hanging out with.”

Frosty’s head shook painfully with his brother’s words. With as much dignity as possible, Frosty got up from the table.

New Herp Community Theatre was one of those landmark buildings, that in order to survive the late Twentieth Century had to be converted into something else. In this case, the old Herp Community Schools building. Abandoned and neglected as a shameful reminder of Warm and Cold segregation of an earlier time, the three schools in one had stood the test of time until the Repts were ready to reclaim their past and not ignore it. Most of the building had become a community center while the elementary wing had become a museum of Xenostudies, Rept History.

The high school and lower level auditoriums had been combined to create one decent sized venue, but it was also the smallest venue on the Large Scale Event tour. There was no room for the official merchandise in the lobby. The sound system boards didn’t fit in the projection room with the lighting controls, so part of the orchestra pit had to be dedicated to the sound boards. Gaffers ran about higgly piggly taping down wires and disrupted the local cheer leaders who where supposed to add a chorus and a short dance number to Mimic’s three song opening. The DJs, each with their own machines and layouts, had to organize a tight ballet of switchouts with the roustabouts for each of their acts.

And Bling Bling was still among the missing.

Taking the day to rehearse and set had been good decision. Frosty was in his glory organizing things and making practical decisions with the roadies. The tight space was a little stressful, but he kept a tight lid on things, and everything began to take shape.

The merchandising was moved to the cafeteria where the reception would be held for the local VIPs and the press. A white backdrop with the Large Scale Event and their label logo checkering was spread out eight feet across so everyone with a backstage pass or prestige could have their photo taken and posted to LifeBook and Stumbler. Frosty touched everything, ignoring the occasional looks of irritation. It was just better to get things out of the way and not have to worry about solving problems during a show.

Frosty was just walking off stage after a sound check when a roughed hand grabbed his and pulled him into the shadows. He’d have yelled at anyone else, but Mimic. The rude words died in his throat as his eyes moved to the craters in the Turtle’s chest and distorted ossified plates that stood out starkly in the shadowy space.

“I’ve been looking for you,” The beat box said softly in the Xeno-Vox, adding a small layer of privacy to their talk. He didn’t let go of Frosty’s hand.

“You’ve seen me,” Frosty said, staring at the hand. Watching Mimic’s thumb stoking the back of his right hand softly. His evergreen skin against Mimics brown, black, and orange scales. “You seen me lots of times.” He kept it all Aenglish.

“Not since the recording session.” Mimic said keeping it quiet, but with an intensity. “Not… alone.”

Confused, he looked up into Mimic’s eyes. They were big and wide, full of some unknown need. Frosty was vaguely aware that it had something to do with Mimic grasping his hand the way he was. Still, he couldn’t make the mental leap. He was just crew. Mimic was talent. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Mimic licked his beak and swallowed hard. His eyes crinkled into what passed for a hopeful smile. “You don’t have to say anything…” Mimic then reached out with both hands and wrapped his dark, stubby fingers around Frosty’s already captured hand and pulled gently. “I know you’re shy, off stage.”

The session with Heartland, Mimic, and Dr. Ice flashed into his mind with lightning brightness. The Turtle squirming against the other green and white Rept. Dr. Ice blowing on Mimic’s neck, strumming the steel strings tied to the plate covering the Turtle’s loins. The rapture on both of their faces as they made wonderful music together.

Frosty leapt back and pulled his hands out from the coarse grubby hands. “You’re confused, Mimic. I’m not… I’m not interested in you like that.”

“But,” Mimic started towards him, an arm outstretched.

Frosty slapped the hand away. “I’m not! I’m not! I’m not!” His heart pounded in his chest and he tried to control his voice. He took a deep breathe and looked the Turtle straight in the eyes. "Don’t be gay, ok? Just don’t! You got played like an instrument. That’s it, nothing more. OK, Mimic? "

Frosty was dizzy with his breath gong in and out so fast. He watched something seem to break in Mimic’s eyes. The Turtle’s eyes seemed to get shiny and then blink rapidly. “My name… is Michael.”

“Whatever, Michael. Don’t go gay on me.”

Mimic began hissing softly. His body shook with spasms as he turned around and tried to walk away with some dignity. He didn’t look back as Dr. Ice stepped off stage.

Frosty was confused. He should know what those sounds Mimic was making meant, but – as before – he mind could not and would not make the leap. Dr. Ice patted him on the back and took off the dark glasses.

“Thanks for taking one for the team, Frosty,” the rapper said, placing a white and green arm over Frosty’s back. He shuddered, unnerved by how closely the singer’s hands resembles his own.

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Frosty complained, his dizziness increasing.

“Well, we have to save your reputation. Mimic’s going to tell someone you’re gay, sooner or later.” Dr. Ice pulled him forward. “So, we need to establish your bona fides. Get it, Boner fides?”

Frosty tried to shake the performer loose. “Not really, no.”

“Good, you keep playing the good boy. You’re good at that.” Dr, Ice laughed at some private joke as they entered the part of the school still set aside as classrooms. Mannequin Rept children sat at desks in various stages of attention. Different classes represented different decades. “I’m going to introduce you to someone who’ll make you feel better.”

Then, suddenly, the foot licking Fox was there with him. She didn’t seem so gross and slutty then. He felt his loins stirring and he tried to back away. Dr. Ice pushed him forward. “I know what you think. But you’ll like this. You always do. And, yes, we are using her. But she’s just a Fox. Not ever the Aesopists think much of foxes. Look at her… she wants to be used. Just say her name and she’s yours.”

Frosty stepped forward, a roaring in his ears. “Sweet Ginger Hunt,” he whispered, not even knowing that he knew her name. Her warm body embraced him and he felt himself unfolding into that blessed, loving warmth.

Frosty woke groggily to the ringing of his cell phone. Cold floor. Warm legs wrapped around his tail. He was trapped beneath a furry weight. Oh, the Fox girl… much more pleasant to be against waking up first. It was dark in the room, street light pouring in. Giant creepy dolls looking away from them politely. He felt rested, for a change, not at all cranky. It took forever to move, however, and when the ringing stopped, he slid back down on the cold floor to sleep.

A moment later, the ringing started again. He reached it; he never could let a ringing phone ring. “Hello?”

“Frosty Pine? This is Sgt. Wilkins.”

“Yes? Hello.” Frosty tried to sound sober and alert. “I’m sorry, Officer. Was I speeding?” Frosty started laughing. “I’m sorry, you just woke me up.”

“Mr. Pine, I’m sorry to inform you but there’s been a shooting. Your brother’s been shot.”

“Blessed creation! Is he all right?” Frosty felt himself sobering up a little.

“He’s in serious condition, but his type’s hard to kill. He’s at Herp Community Hospital in the ICU. You should be here.”

“Yes… officer, I’m in no shape to drive and my phone’s about to die.”

“Give me your location and I’ll send you a cab.”

The dummies blurred and the street lights threw rainbows at him in the dark. He felt the icy path of death before him. “Maybe… you should send am ambulance, I’m not feeling well… at all.”

“Mr. Pine?”

“I’m in the creepy classroom at the Community Center having a little private party…” And then he fell back asleep. In a moment, Sweet Ginger pulled them together and wrapped him in her furry limbs. The police found them a half hour later.

If the sight of a cop staring into your face doesn’t instantly sober you up, you need a hospital. Ginger snapped awake and covered herself with nothing but her furry arms in embarrassment. Frosty opened his eyes and closed them each time the office slapped at his broad white cheeks. Green lids would not stay open.

The ambulance came ten minutes later and took them both away.

Frosty had a few bad moments… before they pumped his stomach, the hospital put him though what they called “procedures.” They were insane chemical treatments, throwbacks to a time of the segregated schools, intended to sanitize Rept skin of any diseases and bacterium they might unknowingly carry. He woke up twice to burning skin and eyes and once to something stinging and cold poking into his cloaca. The drugs in his symptom, almost instantly pulled him back. He did not remember this much, except in nightmares over the next few days.

But then the charcoal was in him and his stomach cleaned out and he slept for almost a whole day before he was awake enough to talk to the police. They were polite, having gotten most of the story from Sweet Ginger.

There weren’t there for him, but for Kudzu aka Saint George. They were Warm cops, who didn’t understand at first that he and Kudzu were brothers. They thought they were separate species, which was somewhat understandable. Kudzu was at the extreme size range of Bearded Dragons while Pine was slim with a smaller crest – what most Mammals would describe a “normal” sized – not to mention his sport coloring.

After assuring them that he hadn’t tried to kill himself, they laid out the facts of the shooting as they knew it.

Frosty did not have to explain what happened to his parents when they arrived. Before he’d even woken up from his accidental overdose, Dick Dagwood had gone over to his parent’s house and briefed them. Showman that he was, the Black Bear had them give a quick press conference asking for prayers for both of their sons. Their father stated that Mosaic would tell us “that forgiveness is the second most visible proof of God, second only to Love. It is often as hard to find as Love, but it is less fleeting.” Then he asked everyone to join them in prayer for Kudzu and Frosty and for forgiveness, as well. It was a pretty little speech and he supposed that Dagwood had written it. Dagwood got them on his private jet right after that and one of the roadies had picked them up at the airport in a tail friendly van. He brought them right to the hospital, where they rushed in to see Frosty an hour or so after the police had left.

It was odd seeing their picture on television and in the door-frame of his his hospital room. It added to the surrealism of the moment. They gasped, for he knew he looked terrible and his skin was so irritated that it almost felt warm. In an hour or so, it would start shedding, and he wished he had slept long enough to be spared that. He hadn’t shed his skin since his teens.

His mother wailed from the doorway and then tried to cover her mouth, as if to take it back. His father, unreadable other than exhausted, just looked on over the shoulder of his saffron colored wife. His full body evergreen coloring matched Frosty’s limbs. Both of his parents were dressed in heavy somber green and a bit too much for the summer heat. Typical Chromatics, he thought, and felt comfort in their normalness. He felt comfort in seeing Repts of his size and shape, other than Dr. Ice.

“Hello,” he said, not feeling up to the traditional greeting. Not feeling good enough. He felt vulnerable and uncomfortable stuck on his back, every ridge on his back being pushed the wrong way. But he was stuck like that until a nurse came to take the probes and stuff out of his more delicate orifices. Despite the name, there apparently weren’t a lot of Herp qualified nurses in the damn place.

He didn’t realize how tired he was until his mother hugged him without further greeting and he was dizzy from the effort of hugging her back. He gave her a soft peck. She straightened up and dabbed at her eyes with a green moist cloth. A misty forest, cool but welcoming. He could smell the forest scent on her. Tears came so easily to his mother.

His eyes went to his father, standing back and as upright as any Bearded Dragon could. A hermit’s dwarf pine, drawn in simple, yet bold strokes on rice paper. With great effort, it seemed, his father reached out and placed his right hand on Frosty’s right knee, causing him to turn away as if shy. Then his father turned back to face his son. “Both my sons injured the same day… you have both frightened us completely out of our lives,” Father said softly. “Please promise that you will not do it again.”

To Frosty, it was more than he expected, less than he had hoped for. “Once,” he said in charcoal flavored words, “Once was enough.” He then tried to ask if they’d seen Kudzu yet. Considering all the sleeping he’d done recently, he was rather surprised to feel himself falling back into the numbing darkness. The last thing he heard was the voice of another visitor. Dr. Ice, maybe? Dagwood? He wasn’t sure, but he was grateful for the rescue all the same.

…the droplet grows in dawn’s embrace. Ripening.

It was almost a whole day before Frosty was able to get up on his own two feet and drag his tail out of the hospital bed. Getting that same tail into the wheel chair proved demeaning and impractical. He forced the nurse to let him put on some street clothes, if only because Dr. Ice threatened to sue if anyone got a picture of St. George’s brother in a hospital gown. There was already threats because his Tzitzits had vanished somewhere between the emergency room and his room. They found him a pair of baggy pants that he couldn’t pull past his tail, a belt that was able to pull over his tail, and a large hockey shirt with the hospital’s logo on it. He hated it, but it seemed like something Kudzu might wear, so maybe he’d start a fashion trend.
After getting directions for Kudzu’s room (and his own discharge papers), Frosty made his way to his brother’s room. The elevators were large, car sized boxes with plenty of tail room and Dr. Ice met him there. “Shouldn’t you be on tour, Dr, Ice?”

“People expect me to be here.” Dr, Ice answered from behind his mirrored sunglasses. “Besides, I think you need me.”

Frosty nodded gratefully, his eyes closing in gratitude. He stepped over to give the performer a hug, but stumbled and missed, nearly falling against the wall over the button. “Who, easy there, Scal’eee. Those drugs messed up you coordination. That’s how come the po’lice know that you didn’t shoot your brother…”

The door opened and Frosty gingerly stepped in and found a handrail to hold on to. He kicked his own tail into the car when the doors began to close. His coordination was definitely off. “They think Bling Bling did it, don’t they?”

“I imagine so,” Dr. Ice said staring at Frosty’s reflection. “He did start out as a Roadie, he was the go-for in every group. We all asked him for everything from drugs to bitches, he got the connections. And Saint George was going to delay, if not cancel, his record deal. A decade of kissing everyone’s tail and a brother can only take so much.”

“But he didn’t do it,” Frosty complained softly.

Dr. Ice shrugged in green jogging suit covered shoulders. “If they ever find him, they can ask him.”

Frosty was unsettled by the response, but the doors opened and they had to get out before others could get in. He was checking room numbers and almost missed seeing his father entering the stairwell, heading upstairs.

“Guess, it’s almost that time,” Dr Ice said derisively, echoing Frosty’s private thoughts. Afternoon prayers. He had merged the morning and afternoon prayers almost as soon as the tour had begun, when waking up at noon, more or less, became a way of life.

He wanted to join his father. At least, a small part of him did. It’d been awhile since he’d prayed outside. Longer since he prayed with his father. Before he could decide, however, Dr. Ice was barging into Kudzu’s room. Knowing his mother might mistake the rapper for him, as many did, Frosty leapt forward.

His mother looked up from her prayers, and started. “My, what an entrance you make.” Because they were family, she made no hesitation to cover her skin quickly. Dr. Ice wore all greens, so to her mind, he must be family, too, or at least in the same Green band. She simply continued to ritualistically re-attach the Tzitzits to her chest. Frosty doubted Dr. Ice was anything like a Chromatic.

When she was finished, he helped her up, rolling up her prayer mat for her. She was a traditional Chromatic woman of the Green Band. Deferential to the men of her family, protective of her children, and very, very emotive. Growing up, he sometimes had been so embarrassed by her, that he would wrongly think that he could never forgive her. Still, he never doubted her love for an instant. She’d never flashed dark colors at him or said a cruel word to him. He did not escape her sharp tongue, but time proved her right most times.

His father had been the opposite in most ways. Frosty used to think it was because his father had been born into the Black Band. They were known to be insular and liked to be seen as mysterious. That proved to be true, in its way, but spending time with young Black friends, Frosty had learned that around family alone, they laughed more, smiled more, and opened their hearths and pantry to any Black Banded brother in of food or shelter.

Frosty never saw that in his father.

Except with his brother, Kudzu, named after his surges of wild growth spurts. Wild Kudzu. Giant Kudzu. Unstoppable Kudzu. His father ran himself ragged keeping up with the little monster. Pure puny Frosty, only normal sized, got pushed aside too often.

He got his mother, and Kudzu got their father. That wouldn’t have been bad, except his mother loved Kudzu, too. In a different way, but she did. She told him that his father loved him, too. “Just in a different way.”

Frosty cast a glance at his brother. The large man was on his right side, back to the door. His tail was supported by another gurney, strapped to keep it from moving off. It was large and thick enough to pull him out of bed, should it fall. A quick tug on the gurney proved that it, in turn, was braced to the bed in such of way that it couldn’t be turned over.

Thought of everything, did the hospital.

He crossed over to front of the bed, to face his brother. Kudzu’s eyes were closed. His face was smoother than he expected. Not dry and flaking from the abrasive and corrosive cleansing the hospital had imposed on Frosty and countless other Repts. “He got past the procedures?” he asked, aloud, his voice flat, his outrage silenced and gagged in his throat. His damnable fame!

“Don’t be angry, Frosty,” their mother said, seeing through him. “You were an overdose,” she said although it choked her up to admit aloud. “That didn’t know where you’d been and what you’d done… what hellhole you’d crawled out of… you could have picked up anything. And the creature that was all over you… unhealthy little whore… I’d have scrubbed you with boric acid myself, if you’d come into my home.”

“I’m sorry, mother,” he said meekly. “I just wanted to relax… We’ve been so busy.”

“I warned you both your life styles would catch up with you,” she said, her fury mostly spent but her duty not yet complete. “I never wished, nor imagined, the Creator would cast your fates upon you both the same night.”

Kudzu opened his eyes. Dull with pain pills, his eyes still wide with shock and fear. His lips moved, pleading… but Frosty could not make sense of the words.

Frosty found his father on the roof, rolling up his prayer mat. Uninvited, Dr. Ice mumbled, “Ah, good timing.” The roof was empty but the three of them on a helipad that doubled as an open air worship center. The Xristios Bible, the Fables of Aesop, the Wisdom of Mosiac, and the books of a dozen smaller religions were stocked in an alcove to keep them dry. Various attempts to make sense of random facts and just make the little people feel better and keep them in line. Frosty flinched when he heard Dr. Ice spitting on them. Well, you couldn’t say he was a hypocrite. He was doing nothing more than his own lyrics said he would do, but Frosty was glad his father hadn’t noticed.

Frosty didn’t not want to excuse or explain the rap artist. He was just glad he had a friend to back him, to help him confront his father’s neglect and apathy.

His father had worn shades of green again, the band’s official color. He glanced at his skinner son and his older, evergreen face split into a wide, open mouth smile. “You look like a teenager again,” he said warmly.

The tone threw Frosty off. Then he realized how goofy he must look. He peeled about three inches of dead, papery skin off his face and let it go in the breeze. “It burns worse now than it ever did. I can’t believe that do that to Repts in this day and age.”

“They forget we are people,” his father says, turning back to the cityscape to the west. “We defy what the Warm Bloods know of life. Their words for us mean alien and death. From Cat to Dog to Rhino to Mouse, they all have almost the same silhouettes. From Anoles to Phrynosoma, we all not only look different but express emotions differently.”

“You forgot the birds,” Frosty said, almost teasingly. With Dr. Ice within hearing range, Frosty made sure he put a little edge into his voice.

“Avi,” Frosty’s father chided. “Actually, science is coming around to our way of thinking. The Avians all evolved from the great dinosaurs.” He turned to face his two-tone son, ignoring Dr. Ice. Maybe he had heard the other young Rept spitting after all. “There was a time we could talk about science and nature for hours.”

Frosty was floored. “I think you misremember.” Actually, Frosty did recall something like that. But not often. “We only talked like that when Kudzu was in camp.”

His father’s expressions withdrew. Part of him was satisfied to have hurt him in some small way, yet Frosty realized that this was his father’s gambit for opening up and kicked himself for it. Between them, they’d always been a process of connecting; of overcoming distance. Stretches of silence had always been their chaperone. What if he just made his father clam up?

“Oh, fuck him,” Dr. Ice whispered in his ear. He squeezed his shoulder, and Frosty felt braced by the green and white hand on his green and white shoulder. “Let him do all the work this time.”

Frosty felt Dr. Ice’s steel slip into his body. It, somehow, changed the shape of the silence between him and his father, sharpening the edges. The silence had a weight it never had before. To his wonder, his father seemed to feel it, too. A swirl of gray unease dappled the older Rept’s cheeks.

His father looked at him sideways, thinking, as he leaned a little on the railing. The old man’s eyes were level with Frosty’s. A sigh escaped the green Dragon and he turned back to face Frosty. It was a relaxed pose, but Frosty sensed it was merely that. A pose. “Did my records help you, any?” His father asked. Then, to Frosty’s confused expression, he explained, “Heartland’s recordings?”

Frosty was confused and did not understand what his father was talking about. Dr. Ice once again stepped in. “Oh, yes, very inspirational. We got to meet him and got some great music out of that. One of our singers is even doing a tribute album.”

Frosty was mildly surprised. He’d been aware of his father’s love of Heartland. It was one of the reasons he had exposed Bling Bling to it. No, wait, Frosty chided himself for getting confused. So, even as his father beat around the bush, speaking with Dr. Ice, Frosty forced himself to get this over with.

He might never be so alone with his father again.

“None of that is important,” Frosty huffed after Dr. Ice had explained his session with the old 'Gator. “I want to ask you why you like Kudzu more than me!” He poked his father in his chest. “Why don’t you love me as much?”

“I love you, Frosty,” His father said. “You’re so very much like me… and so like my brothers… I thought you understood.”

“Oh, spare me,” Frosty snapped. “I already heard this story. That Kudzu needed you more. I might have bought it as a child, but it’s been so long.” Frosty felt his chest tighten as his tail slapped so hard and fast, he felt scales popping off against the concrete. His imaged his whole face and crest were turning black as unaccustomed rage consumed him. “He made a mockery of our religion and you let him! You let him!”

“I let him?” His father seemed actually shocked. “You went along to keep an eye on him. You weren’t supposed to follow him into blasphemy!”

The accusation slapped at Frosty so hard, he reeled. His ears rang and he felt that he was at the bottom of a well. Because there was truth in it, he had slipped and failed, but it was so hard to live a life of devotion amidst the glamor and hedonism. His mother had reached for him repeatedly but not his father. His father could have saved him, instead… he’d sent records.

No, wait… Frosty tried to grab onto a fleeting thought. Dr. Ice had brought the records to Bling Bling. He saw it now. The Anole’s wedge shaped lavender head sliding up and down slowly in pleasure. The ivory thumb scraping his finger claws with the old scratchy jazz. Dr. Ice was pleased, also, but for different reasons. Why?

At the end of the tunnel, he could hear the rapper speaking urgently, steadily, almost maliciously as. Frosty clawed his way back to the real world. He found it impossible to work at the mystery of the jazz records and force his will into his own body and make it behave. Oh, Mosaic do not ever let me try drugs again, he begged.

Mosaic remained silent, but Frosty could hear his father arguing back with someone. The young Rept realized that Dr. Ice had been sticking up for him. He was grateful but more appalled that hadn’t noticed how he’d almost passed out.

He cut off his father’s words with an aggravated scream, not stopping his head bobbing and tail slapping. Frosty was not usually so dramatic, but he felt like he was drowning in sensations suddenly. A million conflicting emotions raced through him, burning his throat and stabbing his heart as they tried to make themselves known. “Stopit Stopit!!! Shut up! Shut up!” He screamed at his father, his friend, himself, and his wild emotions. “Just be quiet!”

He batted away Dr. Ice and flailed about with his claws as they too betrayed him. His breath came fast and Frosty grabbed at it, forcing it it to slow steadily, In a moment, he reduced it to a series of slow, soft hisses. He stared at the concrete between the claws of his naked feet as he hissed in his struggle for control. He wondered how all the little grains of sand on the slab had made it up to the roof of a ten story building as his body final came to a stop.

“Frost… please don’t cry.” his father said.

“I’m not crying,” he growled defensively. Frosty, took a deep breathe, aware that he’d just had a tantrum that had left him dizzy and feeling almost unreal. He looked up at his father, there’s eyes meeting in mutual blinks of unease. Well, Frosty thought, at least we share that much.

“Just tell me. We’re all grown up now. I can’t tell you why I need to know. I just… do. I just do.” Frosty cut off another hiss before it could fully escape. “Please… it’s driving me crazy. I have to know.”

His father nodded yes, but turned away, looking at the cityscape.

“You never met your grandmother, my mother that is.” The older dragon began after a moment, his voice soft but otherwise expressionless.

Frosty moved to the railing, his focus on his father who had gone still. Deeply still, not even a blink to acknowledge Frosty looking at him. “She died, before I was hatched.” Frosty said, if only to keep the conversation going. A trickle of excitement ran up his spine at the thought this was hurting his father. It meant the truth was finally going to out.

“No,” his father said, after a moment of hard silence. “That was a lie. She died when you were three or four, locked away in an asylum. She killed my clutch. Every one of them.”

Frosty didn’t have to do the math to know that wasn’t exactly true. “Wasn’t Uncle Night from your clutch?”

A short nod, or a head bobbing flinch, answered him. “Silent Night… that was another lie. He killed himself. He started hearing… he became unwell, haunted. He refused to become…” He sighed and made an effort to swallow. “He stayed in the Black band when I became Green. Everyone knew about our mother there. He felt safer there than I did away… until, at the very end, he no longer felt safe anywhere.”

Frosty was stunned and he turned to look out at the city. For a long time, he could process only the thought that his parents had lied about these things and kept them secret. That his mother’s sharp tongue had never betrayed these secrets was almost impossible to accept. “Does Mother know?”

His father’s head bobbed flinched again. “That insanity runs in our family? Yes, she knows.”

For a moment, Frosty was impressed at his mother’s willpower but then the simple factual horror of his father’s admission struck him with hurricane force.

Insanity runs in our family.

The railing steadied Frosty as he tried to figure out why the idea of insanity should bother him so instantly, so deeply. It wasn’t as if he thought he was crazy.

“She killed my father, too.” His father gave an open mouthed sigh, as if he had just let go of a heavy box he’d been carrying for a long time. “Your grandfather, Blaka, he raised us as if we were his own. We both had nightmares growing up, but we’d forgotten… He helped us pick out our names, loved us. I can’t imagine a better father, but we still had nightmares.”

Frosty gripped the railing, trembling, wondering if he’d pushed himself too hard. “I don’t,” he told his father. Damn him, I’m going to get this story out of him if I have to pass out here.

He forced his head to stop bobbing, Frosty refused to give his father the satisfaction. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“The reason I spent so much time and attention on Kudzu…” The man’s thick green tail slapped the concrete. His father’s tail twitched, as if it wanted to hit the floor a few more times. Mustard colored eyes darted towards his son looking for help. “Do you remember what happened when you were about three years old?”

Over the ringing in his ears, Frosty shook his head no. His straight forward father had picked the worst time to begin beating around the bush.

“Your mother had another clutch. Four eggs, maybe a little above normal in size. It left her surprisingly weak and your Grandfather Blaka ordered a lot of bed rest. Of course, I still had to work.” His father looked over the city and seemed to gather his thoughts. "One day, I got home, and I found your mother crying in the nursery. Your mother had heard Kudzu chasing you around the house. She forced herself out of bed.

“She had to separate the two of you. You were only three and you’d tried to beat Kudzu off the eggs. He was almost five and already a big boy. The eggs had been sliced open… and if they hadn’t been fertile eggs, it would have different. But they were.”

This struck a cord deep within Frosty, yet he could not concentrate with the roaring in his ears to make sense of it. His father gave a little hissing hiccup and the sound produced an image from the two tone Rept’s past. Kudzu grabbing at him. A knife flashing between them. Frosty glanced about for Dr. Ice, almost if to that he was hearing this, too. Dr. Ice seemed to have wandered away to give him alone time with his father.

“Kudzu denied it, of course. But he wouldn’t tell us what happened. Of course, you were only three and hadn’t even grown into your tail yet. So, it was either Kudzu or your mother. And if she had wanted to kill the clutch, she’d have just turned off the incubator while I was at work.”

“You thought Kudzu had destroyed those eggs?” Frosty muttered, unable to fit that in with the preferential way his big brother had been treated over the years.

Daddy nodded his head in agreement while the rest of his body was as still as a charcoal etching. “Looking at him, I realized how much he looked like my mother as I tried to wheedle the truth out of him. He it frightening. Anyway, Blaka came over as soon as I called him. He gave your mother something and talked to her as she fell asleep. Then he gave Kudzu a something and talked to him, but your brother wouldn’t let himself be knocked out. Blaka gave him three times the dosage for his age and weight before he keeled over.”

He shuddered and took out a pack of cigarettes and seemed to huff them. “Blaka ruled your mother out, but he couldn’t rule out Kudzu. Not that your grandfather was that kind of doctor, but he knew my mother and visited her in the asylum. Let me tell you, he’d be the first to say that she’d given cold blooded a bad name.”

Frosty’s father shook his head NO in a very universal head gesture, very warm blooded. It almost seemed exaggerated and he realized that his father was hiding his physical reaction to whatever he was recalling. The cigarettes went back into his tailpack.

“Blaka said that he could tell that Kudzu was hiding something, but at the same time, he absolutely knew that what he’d done was wrong, yet, the same time, he’d been unable to stop what happened. Blaka said that he needed attention: monitoring and socialization. So, I concentrated on his development. I tried not to show you any favoritism… because… well, jealousy was my mother’s trigger. Jealousy and attention.”

Images spun in Frosty’s head. Kudzu’s face, spinning and spinning, lips moving. Begging. Pleading. Promising… none of it made sense. Mimic’s unreadable face spun off behind him. Bling Bling speaking, slurring, and then falling back into the darkness distracted him. He clung to the railing and the building swayed in the wind blowing all the images through his mind. Dr, Ice was there to steady him… he saw the handle, then, of the gun that the missing Anole had gotten him, sticking out of the waistband of Dr. Ice’s pants. He wanted to reach for it, but he could not let go of the railing for fear he’d fall over.

He felt very strongly that Dr. Ice should have that gun. How had the performer found it?

“I din’t send Kudzu away to summer camp for some sort of reward. Sometimes, he went because his counselors said he couldn’t come back to school without sessions. Sometimes, he went to camp so I could spend some time alone with you.”

Frosty sobbed a hiss and then hiccuped fiercely. His father was about to tell him what he wanted to hear all this time, but now he was in a panic. This was wrong, very wrong but he could not place it. Suddenly, he was afraid. He no longer trusted Dr. Ice. He no longer trusted himself.

Insanity runs in the family.

Of all the things he wanted to hear, this was the last thing. He didn’t understand why. It made sense. Kudzu was insane. It explained all his choices. Crazy people could be so surprisingly intelligent. They had to be, in order to fool themselves. It was the only thing that made sense.

Still, Frosty found himself afraid to embrace the idea. Not here, alone on a roof top with his father. Not with his head spinning and his tail twitching so much he was afraid of loosing his balance. Creator knew what colors he was flaring.

He’d chosen his time poorly, it seemed.

Suddenly, Dr. Ice pushed him towards his father. “Boo-hoo, there’s nothing wrong with Kudzu. Except that he’s in the way,” the singer snapped at him. “What, are you supposed to pity him? Is that it?”

Stumbling, Frosty grabbed his father by his green shirt. “What, so I’m supposed to pity him? Feel bad for him,” he shouted in their father’s face when he ignored the other’s question… “He’s not suffering from insanity! He’s enjoying it!” He shook his father for emphasis and their tails both slapped down, telegraphing anger and frustration.

“He’s suffering, Frosty. He’s suffering now,” the paternal voice was firm. “And maybe it’s my fault that lead to Kudzu’s Takfir. Still, enough about him. But, my son, we are here for you, too. I’m sorry if you felt slighted. But know you are surrounded by love. You’ve seen me nurse your mother and caring for both of you when she was bedridden, that, too is love. And letting you and Kudzu pursue this dream and take the risks you’ve taken. Know that no matter how many miles you may travel from us, you are still surrounded by love. Our love, the creator’s love, you even have Kudzu’s love… but you must also have self-love.”

Frosty didn’t understand and he growled at his father, his voice carrying a high pitched edge he’d never heard in his voice before. “What are you talking about?” It almost sounded like panic. It must be because his heart was beating so hard and quickly; because he was so weak and the strain and confusion was upon him.

“Son.” His father grabbed his arm, almost if he could see how close Frosty was to escaping. “The drugs, that furry Fox girl, and those songs you’ve been singing… that all comes from self loathing.”

Frosty blinked hard and tried to tell his father that he wasn’t a singer. That he was confusing him with Kudzu.

Or maybe with Dr. Ice?

“The Prophet Mosaic says – ,” His father began, but was cut off by Dr. Ice’s barking, caustic laughter.

Frosty fell back into darkness.

Anxiety flittered through him. Self-loathing. Yes, he had some of that. He was following off the path a bit further every day. He blamed himself for that. The drinking, the sex, and allowing himself to be a part of the whole industry that discouraged modesty. The rap scene actively encouraged excess. How had Kudzu tricked him into following this path of destruction?

This path of self destruction?

And how was it that he should end up so consistently end up with Sweet Ginger, a Fox Bling Bling had brought to the party for Dr. Ice. The truth swam by in the chaotic darkness he floated in. Frosty could not grab it. His first memories of the Warm girl was a vague memory of seeing her at an after-party, flavored with the disgust of having woken up with her in his bed. He had not reacted respectfully to her at all.

The truth swam towards him like a great white shark and Frosty forced himself to the surface only find Dr. Ice screaming at his father. Dr. Ice defending the trash talking lyrics and Rept pride that the Chromatic Pillars of Righteousness stood against. Frosty felt the singer’s rage as if his own. It was so true that the modesty preached by Mosiac made it easy for the Warms to control them. To make them Meek when most Repts were stronger than most Mammals.

They openly wondered why Repts would occasionally rebel into raging mobs “out of the blue.”

“We don’t need Gods,” Dr. Ice screamed.

“Our ancestors were Gods!” Frosty screamed into his father’s face. “We could be Dinosaurs again!”

“Son,” he father said, a satisfying trace of fear on his face as Frosty’s peeling snout pushed into it, much too close. “You’re not making sense. Is this withdrawal? Is that what this is?”

Frosty wanted to say that he didn’t do drugs. But confusing images were coming to him now. Sweet Ginger on top, her moist heat burning into his loins. The violence of their awkward sex, enhanced by little blue pills at $25 a pop. Their minds burning together on lines of quality coke at $100 a line. The feel of her sweat, painting him cool and hot in turns. They sang his songs together and when Bling Bling dragged her away, she did not look all too surprised at being manhandled.

Because she wasn’t surprised, idiot. It was all a part of the plan.

Frosty faltered in his diatribe. “I know what love is, Father, Mother loves me. But you don’t. Sweet Ginger lovers me. Dr. Ice loves me.”

“Actually,” Dr. Ice grumbled, “I don’t love nobody but myself. Sweet Ginger loves me, not you, brother from another mother, Not you.”

Sweet Ginger loves me, not you.

That couldn’t be true, he saw her eyes. Her eyes squinted in ecstasy as she made noises from porn films. Teasing and playful, letting him to be a star. Her eyes could never lie. She was only as deep as her pelt.

But yes, he thought, she did love Dr. Ice. He saw that now. He was just a stand-in for the singer. The headliner for sure now that both Sir George and Bling Bling were out of the picture.

Frosty loved her, in his own way. Of course he did.

At least, he thought he must.

She does what I tell her.

His father shook him something hard and Frosty felt his body spring back, He spun and roared, tail straight out, shoulders full forward, balanced on the tipping point. Ready for some serious slash and spin, he had a curiously crystal thought.

I am a killer.

And his father finally saw it. Frosty had hidden it from others for years, because he thought that he had to. He’d even hidden it from himself. But now that he knew his father had loved Kudzu so much because he thought the big dummy had killed, the dam was breaking.

Before his still mind, it came back to him. Sneaking off to speak with Bling Bling, convincing him the listen to Heartland, subtly encouraging the Anole to lift tracks, pushing, and then hinting he and only he could help smooth things over with the bossman. And then, finally encouraging Bling Bling that Heartland needed to die.

The expression on Bling Bling’s body when Dr. Ice shot him in the face popped into his head.

Frosty flinched at the image and caused him to whack his tail down hard to keep his threatening stance. That hadn’t been part of the plan. It was senseless.

Frosty hadn’t even been there when Dr. Ice had decided to improvise.

He spun then, slapping at his own face, trying to focus. His tail scraped in a circle painfully about him. Dr. Ice slashed at his face, drawing blood, panting in counter point against Frosty’s wild hissing. “You’re not a killer, Frosty,” Dr, Ice told him while holding Frosty’s bloody claws in his own bloody hands. “You need me for that, otherwise you’re just a simple mask, a shallow facade of a Rept’s calm heart. You are nothing without me.”

Frosty batted him away. His mind was all over the place. The drugs that had been in his system. That was it, or part of it. Sweet Ginger couldn’t get them from Bing Bing’s trusted source. No one could find Bing Bing. He was angry about how much everyone had enjoyed the old Alligator’s performance and no doubt he was having a snit somewhere. Bling Bling had mad no secret of his anger, ergo he had to die.

He was always going to die, anyway. Time table just moved up and Heartland was too much the asset now for Large Scale to get rid of. And when it had come time to kill Kudzu, Bling Bling probably have turned him in.

Frosty frowned at his thoughts. What was Dr. Ice doing to his head?

He spun around looking for Dr. Ice and saw no one but his father. His father who was born a Sport, an evergreen skin, normal for so many other Repts but no for a Bearded Dragon. No, he was born a freak, too, and… and… it occurred to the confused young Rept that Dr. Ice was his father. Had been his father all along.

“Frosty,” his father said, “Stay calm, it’s just a reaction of some sort.”

Frosty’s tail struck out with a twist of his legs, pushing his father back to the edge. Back to the railing. Just to buy himself some time to think. He was hiccuping and hissing now uncontrollably. He could see his father now, as Dr. Ice… just a little make up, that’s all. Yes, especially when they met the old jazz player. His father would have killed for that, he was sure. Hiding his face behind make-up, that would satisfy the needed modesty.

And yet… and yet… he couldn’t picture the scene with Mimic at all. Not at all. Yet, he knew he watched it. The playing of the damaged Turtle. He’d seen it. He listened to it.

On playback.

He forced the image to his eyes, imagining what it must have… no, forcing himself to recall. Dr. Ice strumming the strings and breathing on Mimic’s neck, to stiffen him… no, to straighten him. Enjoying the discomfort of the shelled boy. His groin rubbing the Turtle’s shell, the backside mostly undamaged and feeling Mimic surrender finally to him.

Frosty stood fully upright, shocked by the sensations he was feeling, by the images… none of that was right.

Insanity runs in our family…

Of course, his father wasn’t Dr. Ice. He was too old, too humble, too modest to be the rap star.

He could feel the ancient steel strings sting his fingers as they bounced off his claws, but he forced himself not to think about it. History will right itself, it always does. It always has, before.

He couldn’t understand what his father was saying. It was all too much. He found Dr. Ice standing distantly and quietly near the bookcase. They didn’t look like each other right now. When they’d first met, Dr. Ice had been a little skinny fox. Green and white fur, a mammal sport who’d run away from home because his father kept shaving it all off. Frosty had been enthralled by the idea of having a secret friend that was the same, but different. So, he took him an abandoned building and helped set him up nice.

“Do you remember the place I made for you, Dr. Ice? You wanted to be a rock star, remember? To be on Cold Train?” Dr. Ice stared back from black empty sockets. Of course, he did, of course.

You showed me me warmth and love. Frosty thought, smiling with the titling of his head. You wanted to know what being cold blooded was like, so I showed you. It hurt, being cold, but I held you still and you got colder and colder still. You changed and you never shared that warmth with me again.

“I showed you other things,” Dr. Ice said, the fur falling from his body. Maggots crawling from his eyes. His stomach bloating and his skin becoming spoiled shoe leather. “Until the cops came and took away my body.”

“You’ve been with me ever since.” Frosty nodded. “I’m sorry…”

“It only hurt a little while,” Dr. Ice said. “Never mind about that. But we have to finish this.”

Frosty remembered now the look of the Fox’s face as the awl punctured his heart. It was so much like Mimic’s look from… how many days ago? Longing and betrayal?

“Let’s finish this,” Dr Ice said, “while he’s still worried that you’re going to hurt yourself.”

No, wait! This is important. Frost lashed out again, dizzy with anger. Muscles straining and stress warming him. A Turtle’s face was so different from a Fox’s… but now he knew they shared this one thing… a longing they had directed at him. The thought spun him again and again.

You are surrounded by love.

“Where is it?” he screamed in XenoVox, in click clack, and in the blood that raced painfully through his body. “Where is all this love?”

He closed his eyes and concentrated on his name-image, It always centered him before. The snow fell about him. Dawn on a mountain side. Pine trees every where, and suddenly, a few flakes melt in the sun…

Dr. Ice shook him. “No, you’ll never get this moment again. You ruined Kudzu’s turn. You won’t ruin this for me. For us.”

His father was there when he forced his eyes open and Frosty gasped in surprise.

But was he there? Was he really there? Frosty’s father would not have come for anything less then his oldest child’s death.

Of course, at this very moment, Frosty was no longer sure where he was. Maybe he was still unconscious in the museum, dying slowly from an overdose… No, he only had one, fake swallowing the rest.

Dr, Ice pushed him into his father and he wailed, overwhelmed by fear. Maybe remorse. He was rolling down hill and the brakes were broken. He clutched at his father, who slowly, tenderly put his arms around his sobbing child.

“No, I just can’t stop hiccuping.” Frosty explained softly. He never cried. You can’t cry for losing something you never had. And Love was the only thing worth crying over.

You are surrounded by love.

He could hear the chanting, the playing, as he swaggered across the stage. There he was hip-hopping, cold blooded demon sucking up their love. He posed as a gangster, and they ate it up. He posed as a killer, which he was, and they ate it all up.

Dr. Ice knew love. He commanded it. Love obeyed his will.

He loved Dr. Ice. Dr. Ice, he saw now, as he had seen a hundred times before, as he had forgotten a hundred times before… Dr. Ice was Death.

Death is love.

I am surrounded by love.

Insanity runs in the family.

Frosty suspected there was more wrong with him than he had suspected.

He clutched his father and… felt nothing. Love is warmth and they were both so cold. He knew why.

Frosty did not deserve love. Not when he snuck away from his drugged out Vixen alibi and waited in an alley for the over-rated Saint George to come by, as planned for a publicity stunt. It was the only way to get his entourage to hang back. They knew Kudzu was going to get bloodied.

And Frosty knew his big stupid brother had already trained them all not to talk to the police. Not talking increased their street cred. Not talking meant they wouldn’t have to lie. The show had go one without a hitch because Kudzu had planned everything, including a plan B, in case things got messy.

He planned everything.

Except his brother that popped out a 100 yards before the place Kudzu’s hired “thugs” where meant to be. Where they still stood hiding in a fact ambush when Dr. Ice leapt forward and fired the handgun into the spot berzerker sized Bearded Dragons were most vulnerable, just under the skull, up into the cerebral cortex. Kudzu’s thick tail ruined the shot and Dr. Ice was forced to fire instead directly into Kudzu’s face.

Dr. Ice fled, dressed in total black, down a preplanned path to the hospital, And hid the gun in the little used bookshelf before Frosty had to sneak back into the old school and take just enough pills to look like he’d been out cold all night. A story the local police seemed to believe.

At least until Kudzu woke up and tells them that we shot him.

Frosty burrowed closer into his father, appalled to find no warmth, no love, just a weird desperation that seemed no more than a reflection of his own.

“Hold him still, so I can get the sweet spot and do it all in one shot,” Dr, Ice said and slipped the gun out from his waist band. Frosty squeezed his father tighter and wished he was built like his monstrous brother. Yet, his father did not resist, he pulled Frosty in closer, in fact.

Frosty remember the first time. The eggs were leathery and hard to cut, but a sharp knife and a running start, he’d been able to ruin them all. He didn’t think of it as killing. But they were a threat, that’s all. They’d frightened him. He was the baby and that made him king of the family in a way. When they hatched, he’d be dethroned. They practically told him he’d be working for the youngest, a slave. He had nightmare of being ignored.

It was all too much.

So, he ruined them. They weren’t even people yet. It wasn’t killing, not really, just satisfying.

Then Kudzu was there pulling him away, grabbing at the knife, He was all strength and limbs, roaring with outrage and horror, trying to get the knife away without hurting Frosty. The knife just bounced off the larger Dragon’s scales. Frosty flayed in his anger and managed to break loose.

Kudzu ran after him, in and around furniture. Things were knocked over and things broke, including the family’s tea table, sending mosaic tiles all over the place. Frosty heard his mother yelling, but did not run to her. He knew his mother and Kudzu would just team-up against him. Eventually, Kudzu cornered him and got the knife away from him.

Frosty was overheated and exhausted, unable to defend himself further. A part of him was grateful that it was over and then the strangest things began to happen,

Kudzu began to cry. Kudzu picked him up and began chanting, “I won’t tell, I won’t tell.” Frosty waited for the killing stroke. Instead, Frosty felt giant claws smoothing his scales as Kudzu swayed gently.

Frosty heard his mother coming and then he realized that Kudzu was just stalling for back-up.

So, he spazzed out, pushing and screaming against his brother, only a year or so older, almost the size of their mother, unconsciously, slyly painting a picture that served him well. His mother screamed seeing Kudzu fighting with her smaller child, poised with a knife in the other.

The scene had served him so well, he hadn’t really heard about it again until two decades later when their father brought it up.

Of course, Kudzu was insane. A sane Reptile would have killed Frosty on the spot.

He clutched at his father, ripping clothes with his claws and his father did not complain. Did not resist. In fact, he seemed to be chanting. Praying.

A strange kind of clarity settled on his brain as Dr. Ice moved the gun to the back of their father’s head.

Kudzu, in his hospital bed, while their mother said she had told them so, without saying it.

Kudzu opening his eyes. Dull with pain and medication, his eyes still wet and wide with shock and fear. His lips moving, pleading… but Frosty couldn’t make sense of the words then. But he heard them now, he could not deny it. His mind was making one final connection before he stepped off into a back pit of insanity. One last chance.

“I won’t tell,” Kudzu had whispered. “I won’t tell.”

And there was fear in that voice, yes, but there was also forgiveness.

They were both insane, after all, for Kudzu forgave him.

“Stop this right now!” Dr Ice yelled at him, the gun poised to enter the green man’s head and scramble his brains like it was some leathery old egg. “You’ll be famous. Dr. Ice will be known as the coldest Cold Blood Rapper of them all!”

Frosty felt his claws raking his father’s back. But it was only his left claw squeezing and unsqueezing. His right claw was heavy and only one finger seemed ready to squeeze. He concentrated on opening both hands wide.

Neither hand paid him any mind.

“Daddy,” Frosty said. And it was a hard thing to say. He felt as if he was breaking apart, nothing but a head and some twitchy arms left. His father looked up and met his eyes. His whole face was flushed by a grey concern with blotches of orange. Frosty fought to get more words out, but his throat was full of hiccuping that came wide but slow up from hidden depth.

As he struggled both with his voice and with his hands, his father reached up and touched a green finger pad under his son’s left eye. Moisture streaked across his scales. “You get your tears from you mother. She’s always cried for me, it’s not a weakness. It’s love. It’s life.”

Frosty shook his head no as Dr. Ice railed at him. You have to do this. This is the only way you escape jail. Once I pull that trigger, you’ll shatter and you’ll be free. Then he switched tactics, trying to belittle Frosty. He ignored all that, almost certain that he knew what Dr. Ice was.

“Daddy,” he said his throat raw and thick, “How many people are here on the roof?”

His father blinked and looked about with bird like movements. “Just us. Me and you.”

“And Dr, Ice?”

His father reached up with both hands and gently wiped tears from both of Frosty’s eyes. The smears of moisture felt unreal to him. “You don’t have to be Dr. Ice if you don’t want to be.”

Frosty forced both his hands open as Dr. Ice wrestled for the gun. “Daddy,” Frosty pleaded, “I need help.” His right hand would not open. He felt nothing in it. Yet, he knew everything was in it.

“There are doctor’s downstairs.” His father said soothingly.

“Daddy, no… I mean… he… he wants to kill you.”

His father went still. “Kudzu?” he asked, only half surprised.

Dr, Ice roared with laughter and Frosted wailed. Frosty was not sure what came out of his throat, but he was able to get his hands open.

The gun clattered loudly to the cement pad.

“Daddy… I’ve been a bad boy.”

-end

I have been able to cut down 4k by making the writing tighter.
I still have 6k to go, so time to cut or merge characters.
I could cut Mimic out completely or merge him with Bling Bling…
Some how deleting a character is harder than killing one.