Furry Writers' Guild Forum

There Once Was a Limerick Online...

Show us your favorite limericks! These can be the good ol’e boys found just about everywhere or ones you made yourself. Just please be sure to stick with forum rules for rating, thank you!

For those who don’t know what a limerick is, it’s essentially this:
Limericks consist of five anapaestic lines.
Lines 1, 2, and 5 of Limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another.
Lines 3 and 4 of Limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

And here’s an example from the 19th century that’s actually clean:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

So let’s see your best (and worst)!

There once was Cecil, a dove

Who squacked at his muse for some love

"I will put up a fight

If you don’t help me write!"

But the dove got no love from above.

Thank you for your submission
We’ve come to a final decision
Although it was clever
We’ll publish it never
This cannot be fixed by revision

I remember that! Best rejection letter ever X3

Zach Weiner did a fun one:

This limerick goes in reverse
Unless I’m remiss
The neat thing is this:
If you start from the bottom-most verse
This limerick’s not any worse!

There once was William of Orange


… I give up.

There once was King William of Orange
Whose domain stretched from Dover to Blorenge.
King James was kicked out
'Cause he ruled by the shout.
Now Parliament rules; Kings have no range.

Explanation? William III of England was a Protestant Dutch prince who invaded and kicked James II (Catholic) off the throne. His reign is said to mark the transition of English government from personal monarchy to Parliamentary rule, in which the power of the Monarch has diminished to almost nothing.

Blorenge, in case you never heard of it, is a small mountain in Wales, popular with hikers and climbers. (See Google for validation.)

Pretty exotic, I know, but it makes some kind of sense and really does have 2 rhymes for “orange.” Not only that, but it’s original. I just made this one up. ;D

I bow to thy wisdom.

slow clap wipes tear

Actually the “problem” of a rhyme for “orange” has been discussed endlessly through the centuries. Your first line reminded me of an old solution that wasn’t a Limerick.

From the Ganges to the Blorange
Walked the Rajah every month,
Eating now and then an orange,
Conning now and then his Grunth.

In this case, the Blorange is a minor river in Pakistan (said the author) and of course the Grunth or Granth is the Sikh scriptures.

That bit of doggerel (sorry canine readers) came to mind immediately, so I set out to construct a Limerick to take advantage of “Blorange”. Digging in Wikipedia for a way to connect Blorange with England, I discovered “The Blorenge” in Wales and the rest was easy after that.

Wisdom? Probably not. Clever guile? Maybe. Anyway, it was fun.