That would be here.
and how did you manage it?
With a lot of chocolate and a soupçon of alcohol, if I remember correctly. 
Seriously, though, this cut deeper than anything I’d had to deal with before, simply because of how prominent the venue and the reviewer is. So I tried to basically put things in perspective, with the first reminder to self being that this is still just one person’s opinion, no matter how prominent that person might be, and thus no more or less valid than the positive comments I was getting on the story. (Like most creative types, I know I tend to give more authority to negative comments than positive ones – of course those people who like my stuff are just stupid, and these well-read people hate it.)
I also read through her other reviews, and realized that I was hardly alone in getting panned (and other people got worse than I did – she’s a pretty tough grader IMO). This also helped reinforce the idea that reviewers have taste and bias issues like any other reader – she sometimes demolished stuff I liked, and the stuff she liked I sometimes didn’t get at all. So, there’s also a case of “this isn’t my target audience anyway.”
And I reminded myself that this was just one story, not some kind of giant freaking judgment on me as a writer or my entire body of work. One good review doesn’t mean a story’s perfect; one bad review doesn’t mean it’s a failure.
And yeah, I ranted privately (and maybe semi-privately – I think there were some tweets about it in discussion with other people).
By now, the sting is pretty much gone. There’s a scar there, but the review has become something I’ve kind of used as a self-deprecating joke, a tactic that can also help rob something of its power. (As I said in an email several months ago when introducing myself, “My most impressive publishing credit to date is probably still Strange Horizons, for ‘The Bear with the Quantum Heart,’ which Lois Tilton called ‘pretty mawkish stuff’ and another reader elsewhere on the Internet found ‘deeply disturbing.’ XD”)
There was another similar experience with the same story when I read this review. In this case, it wasn’t that the review was negative. On the contrary, it gave me a lot of credit. The only problem was, that great turnabout they’re giving me credit for? That… wasn’t my intent at all. They’re getting a completely different interpretation – a literally opposite interpretation – out of the story than I intended. Again, though, I wasn’t about to say anything, because this was my lesson in “it’s not 100% your story anymore” – in short, I had, and have, no right to tell a reader that their interpretation of my story is wrong. I could have said “hey, that wasn’t what I intended,” but that’s not really the point of the review anyway – it’s about what they got out of it. And if they’re going to give me credit for some genius thing that I never meant, hey, cool, go for it. 
One last anecdote for the mix, from the reader’s side: I remember in my earliest days on Twitter, I made a tweet about having listened to the first couple podcasts of Scott Sigler’s Infected (I think that’s the title), and how painful an experience it was so far. (I don’t remember my exact wording now, but anyway, I wasn’t impressed with either the writing or the author’s narration.) A little while later, the author replied to me, saying to give it a few more chapters. It was friendly (and a good early lesson for me in “don’t tweet about someone without remembering they might be listening”), but on a visceral level, as a reader, it still felt really intrusive and almost rude to me. I felt like saying “Dude, I wasn’t talking to you.” (I wound up taking the book out of the library instead. Still wasn’t impressed.)
