Found here in the .pdf format: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14490806/ If this is a problem, I can also email you the file in a format of your choosing.
Just curious as to what people think. Reply here or on FA.
(No scansion, please. I wrote metered poetry for almost a decade, by the time I wrote these I had grown bored with it and was not interested in employing perfect metrical schemes.)
May I request this emailed or pm’ed please? I can’t access FA while on the work computer.
I do like that you have a varied enough rhythm for the different poems that it almost feels as if they’re from different writers. That said, it can be very difficult to critique poetry with how much society seems to insist that there should be no rules, just a big huge pile of emotional vomit. However, let’s see what I can do.
I, II, and III all had some amazing imagery held within. The concept became a bit too abstract about midway through II with the only seeming connection between all three having something to do with hair. Of course, this could be because I’m attempting to read this at work >.< I do so love the imagery in I though.
Untitled had some great imagery and a great pull that this is a modern piece (yay Vodka shots!). The ending fell rather flat for me though. I see what you were doing ending it abruptly, but feel it could have been better worded.
From the Diary of a Latex Angel is definitely my favorite of the bunch. I love the side-thoughts in parenthesis and how the meter is drastically different, making it quite clear what they are. The meter in general is a fun contrast to the darkness of the subject matter, and it feels like much of it is a double entendre. I do like that you used the last line to pull it back to what this is actually about after lettign the reader wallow in that possible maybe double meaning for a good amount of time.
The next Untitled was upon first reading perhaps my least favorite of the bunch. This is just personal opinion on the simplicity of the rhyme though, which I’m just as guilty of having used multiple times in the past. I found my interest piqued with the very last stanza though. It took me two more readings to work past the rhythm of the rhyme, yet when I finally grasped ahold of the imagery involved I found myself truly appreciative of it.
Revenent was definitely a sweet contrast from the previous poem. The only thing that really threw me off was “And hope to lick your teary iris dry”. I understand the need of using more poetic words than ‘eye’, yet all I could think of was a direct lick to the eyeball x.x That might just be me though.
Obsidian Sea made me smile with the first few lines. The imagery is interesting in a good way, though I’m still left feeling lost as to what an obsidian sea could be referencing x.x Again though, it might just be because I’m reading these at work.
Nihil and Tea made me think of Linda Goodman’s Gooberz. Some of the lines felt a bit too random (where did strip tease come from? O.o), yet I get the feeling that was kind of the point of the poem. Either way, it was an interesting play on words.
I hope at least something in here might be of use to you. Thank you again for letting me read your poetry.