Furry Writers' Guild Forum

Looking for critique - A fox falls in love with a "dangerous" feral wolf

Hi Everyone,

I am looking for critique on my first real piece of “furry” writing (though by far not my first piece of writing). Here are the details:

Russell And The Wolf: A Romance Novelette
16,275 words

Synopsis: When a wolf breaks into Russell’s cabin during a storm, he enlists friends to fight back. But as he develops feelings for her, he tries to call off the attack. Soon, rumors spread that he is harboring a wolf of the kind that devastated the village generations prior. Will he be able to keep their love a secret, or will the village turn against him?

Writing sample:

[i]Suddenly, Russell took a hard blow to the back of the head and fell to the wooden floor, dropping his lamp and dagger. By the time he realized what was happening, he was pinned to his back under several hundred pounds of force. With no weapon and no means of escape, Russell tried to make out his captor.

He caught a momentary sight of two gleaming eyes and a dripping canine face above him, then the lantern burnt out and the room went dark. By the heaviness of its breath and the balance of its weight on all fours, he could tell that the assailant was giant, feral and powerful.

In a growling undertone, the wolf spoke to the fox in the darkness.

“Where is your food?”[/i]

Preface and first chapter:


If you think you may be interested in reading more of the story, please DM me or email me at sage.sylvaine@gmail.com and I’ll link you the rest of the novelette, no-obligation. Thanks!

Here are some optional reading questions:

[ol][li]If you stopped reading or took a break because the book wasn’t holding your attention, what was the last line before you put it down?[/li]
[li]What do you think about the general quality of the writing?[/li]
[li]What are some things you didn’t like about the book?[/li]
[li]Did the story move too fast? In particular, does it feel like Russell and Sequoia got to know each other too fast? If so, how would you remedy this on a structural level?[/li]
[li]Should the chapter “Sequoia’s Story” be longer? If so, what should be added?[/li]
[li]What did you expect some characters to do, but they didn’t? In other words, are there any plot holes?[/li]
[li]What did you want some characters to do, but they didn’t? In other words, were there any interactions you might have liked to see, or any plot elements that would have been neat?[/li]
[li]Does any of the language or content make the book only suitable for 18+ readers? If so, how could it be toned down without affecting the impact of the story? It could be helpful to point out specific lines.[/li][/ol]