I wrote a story a while ago for Infurno that I’ve recently revisited, and I think that I’ve stared at it so much I can’t tell what’s wrong with it. I can’t shake the feeling that I was trying so hard to create a mood that it gets a bit pretentious and makes the story beats less satisfying. Could someone look it over and let me know what you think? It’s about 8,400 words, and there’s a bit of graphic violence and language. If anyone is willing to help out, I’d greatly appreciate it.