Furry Writers' Guild Forum

Kickstarter Proposal

My proposal is the creation of a text-to-speech animation program by and for the furry community, to be funded via kickstarter. This will require artists and programmers as well as publicists and administrators and others. This will require the tapping into the talent and creativity at the heart of the furry community itself.

Imagine something like this: http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/tts_example.php?sitepal
But with customizable characters, actions, backgrounds, sound effects and music, with options for insertions of your own voice tracks, all available via simple interface, with a free trial version for the curious, and a monthly subscription fee for the full version and our hosting services.

Sites like this already exist. Go-animate, for example, which you can look at here: http://goanimate.com/

“But, Aunty Dwale!” not a single one of you is saying, “Why should anyone use our service if similar sites already exist?”

The answer to that, dear friends, is that ours would be furry, and therefore automatically superior.

Also, ours would have customizable characters in addition to less stringent “acceptable use” guidelines. Go-animate, for example, deletes cartoons that make explicit sexual references, even if you’re a paying subscriber.

Now, I’m not saying all furries are perverts who mainly enjoy innuendo and toilet humor…but I am saying that enough of us are of that type to where it would be unwise to exclude them from our demographic. Yes, we’re going to need a legal department at some point.

“Alright, Aunty,” you say again with that Aunty ****, “that sounds like a good idea, but it also sounds like a lot of work. I want to help, but what’s in it for me? I’ve got like, fifteen hungry puppies at home.”

My friends, this idea is founded on a dream- the dream of making money without any discernible talent or skill. And you can share in that dream!

“That sounds like complete BS,” you say, and you are right! No one can own an idea, after all. Hmm? What’s that? Oh, you can. You can own ideas, apparently. Huh.

Alright, well, I’ve devised a system that will ensure egalitarian distribution of funds. Behold!

  1. Name your own position in the company: That’s right, you just sign up, pick a position and it’s yours. I don’t give a ****. However, since I was here first, I’m calling myself “President of Janitorial.” You can all be presidents of other stuff.
  2. Get paid for doing nothing: the crux of our company’s philosophy. However, the people who do actually work are entitled to a bigger share of the profits we don’t have.
  3. All partners have the right to steal my idea at any time, run off with it and become wealthy while the rest of us die broke and forgotten in our respective gutters. Hope that money-bed helps you sleep at night, MURDERER.

Look, I don’t care about fame or fortune, all I want is for my family to be able to say, “Well, at least what’s-his-name accomplished one thing before setting that new record with The Darwin Awards.” Seriously. Well, and if possible, maybe enough money to where my parents don’t have to pay for my funeral expenses. That’s secondary, though, because I think they’d feel better about it if they could say, “What’s-his-name was trying to start a company, you know, and wasn’t nearly as stupid as that Darwin Award makes it sound.”

Sign up here if you’re interested…or even if you’re not! You also don’t have to sign up “here” per se, it could be behind the 7-11, or in the stomach of a shark. That’s what smart phones are for, right?



For the short term, here is a low-cost alternative, as long as your stories involve dogs in a courtroom:

Hold up, now you’re saying I don’t have to do anything? o.o

Then I’m ~definitely~ in!

Seriously though, I’m up for the networking. Just not sure how helpful I’ll be with how inactive I’d been over the past few months.

Yeah, though I’m pretty sure the only way this would ever turn a profit would be to take the kickstarter funds and abscond.