Wow, just reading that before my morning coffee is enough to make my head spin o.o
It sounds incredibly intriguing, personally. I know Out of Position does some jumping around the first few chapters to better contrast just how far one of the characters has come and to give more of a viewpoint from the second character’s perspective upon reflecting on this. It also switches narratives between the two protagonists throughout, allowing us to get into their heads and emotions.
On a more mainstream level, Game of Thrones switches perspectives every chapter, and it works amazingly well to better understand a character’s motives and why they do what they do and how they grow over time. It also does its own time jumping, though not nearly as much as what you have planned. The major difference is that it sticks to third person perspective though.
I remember reading In the Forests of the Night by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. It’s first person perspective solely on one protagonist’s pov, but it does switch between present and past very smoothly, for the most part. I remember there were times when the present-day chapter would act like a hook to keep me reading to the next, and other times when it threw me right out of the story, and times when I was tempted to skip it to get back into the telling of the past xp
I also recall a few Piers Anthony books switching between presense tense future and past tense past to make it clear how catastrophic any other path in the story would have been, despite how heartbreaking the path taken by the protagonist wound up being (if that makes sense). However, he still kept it third person and only made the jump between two chapters, each one placed separately at specific points in the book.
Sorry for the rambles on this. I’m just trying to remember past experiences I’ve had reading books that might be relatable to your idea. Anyway, there are a few points I can share from my own experiences as a reader:
Please be certain to lable each chapter with the perspective, date, and (where applicable) time. This seems like an obvious, but I’ve seen published books skate through without it, leaving most readers utterly confused.
Please make sure each protagonist has a very clear, individual voice. Though the lables at the beginning of the chapters are useful, you don’t want your reader to have to keep flipping back to them to remember whose head they’re in. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to easily recall simply based on the ‘feel’ of the narration, if that makes sense.
Try to make each time different maybe? This can be a tricky one, yet small things like body structure and the inclusion/exclusion of scars and injuries can do much to make it more clear where i the timeline each chapter takes place. This will take a delicate balance though so as to avoid flooding each chapter with too much description.
I’m not entirely sure how well switching between third person present and first person past will work. If you can work it carefully and well, it’ll do much to dissassociate the present from the past, which is not a bad thing, and draw a thick enough line between the two to keep a reader interested in what happens next in that particular time frame while they immerse themselves in the next chapter. However, if not handled carefully, it can absolutely destroy a story. It’ll also be dependant on how often you plan on jumping between present and past.
Ultimately though I think the real question you have to ask yourself is will you be using this just as a cheap gimmick, or will this method actually add something significant to the story that would otherwise be lost through traditional storytelling ways?
All in all I’d be interested in reading it just to see how you work out the mechanics and how they might contribute to the story. What genre is the story set in, if you don’t mind my asking?
Sorry for all the rambles- I hope they make sense. Just as much, I hope you’re able to get something useful from all of this and I’m not just stating obvious points >.<
