Furry Writers' Guild Forum

Beta readers wanted for FOXES submission

Critique
#1

I’m looking for beta readers for “Songs in the Garden”, a story I plan to submit to the upcoming FOXES anthology. The deadline for submission is July 1. I should have a draft ready for reading by the middle of next week.

I’d like attention to be paid to conceptual stuff rather than spelling and grammar, like pacing, characterization, plot, that sort of stuff. (Though any typos or awkward writing you find, please point out!)

Also, the story right now is 2,300 words over the submission limit, so any recommendations on what might be able to be removed or tightened up would be extremely helpful. (I’ve already cut over 900 words from the first draft, and am working on the second.)

DM me or post here, and when the draft is ready I’ll get you a link.

Thanks!

#2

I’m open to look over stuff, I’ve completed submission for the same anthology already.

#3

I sent a PM. =D

#4

Thank you! I’ll get you a link as soon as it’s available, by the middle of next week.

#5

Replied to! :smiley:

#6

Links have been sent to beta readers!

Thanks so much!

#7

I’ve read over the story, but since I’m on mobile I couldn’t do full suggested comments.

I don’t know your view on adverbs but there is a large number of them. I only pointed them out. It may be a good idea to cut two thirds of them out.

There was a lot of tense errors. I think I missed a couple. I showed several that needed rewriting that I do not know how to fix myself. There was also a couple of run on sentences.

With the technical issues out of the way, the only things I found I had problems with is I no idea what species the main character was until halfway through the story. The story also started off with a steampunk feel then it took a turn into fantasy. This was a slightly misleading.

Lastly the song names were tedious to read over. I do not know if they are made up songs or names of real song.

Other than that the story was interesting and had good pace.
The conclusion to the twist was slightly predictable and it felt like the loose end with the main character and the love interests was not tied up.

That concludes my review of the story.

#8

I forgot to mention I noticed several space errors as well that I couldn’t address on mobile.

#9

Thanks for your comments! Obviously, I need to review my use of adverbs. :wink:

If I’ve got specific questions about your comments, I’ll let you know.

Thanks again so much!